Final 2005 “bloggable” Thoughts

Gosh it is Christmas already! This is the last blog for me this year .It has been quiet an year for me and boy am I glad it is almost over but no regrets for the most part. It has been an year which I have met good friends online who have been truly an aspiration to me. I have met and have become good friends with some bloggers and to you I say ,thank you and thank you for sharing part of who you are with me, it has been a blessing and hope our friendship will continue to grow despite being mountains, oceans and deserts away or in short a “flight away”.

It is nice to have a friends who make you smile when down and who can relate to tribulations that one faces in this life, who once in a while knocked on my IM and reminded me to stop and smell the fresh flowers, enjoy the view outside or just a simple phone call to say a quick hello or congratulations for reaching a milestone or passing that exam, or just a simple surprise call to let you know I’m no computer robot/ anime’. There is a voice behind the goofing around, after all.

Friends to reminisce with the great ol’times we had in the Republic and hope one day we shall meet and eat that finger lickin’ good nyamachoma avec tusker!, hang again at “Carni” or just have fish and chips at Wimpy .

It has also been a year which I have lost people who were very dear to me, and it saddens me to know that this Christmas will not be the same without them.

It has been a year of awakening and “smelling the coffee” and hopefully the lessons learnt in 2005 will be carried over to 2006 as I strive to grow to be the best I can be..

Well all good bloggers, keep on blogging (entertaining and informing). It has been a pleasure to be part of this wonderful E-World and KBW.

Merry Christmas, enjoy the holiday and Happy New Year and remember “friends do not let friends drive while drunk” So as you burudika na tusker or alcoholic beverage of your choice, be careful on this festive season.

TUONANENI MWAKA MPYA!

Be careful of woman who loves the Bar Scene..:-)))

I'm about to go for happy hour and now I read this in NATION. Ha! ha! he has just aroused my curiosity on what to expect when I visit the Kenyan bar scene.It seems that the "chaser and the chased" modus operandi has changed over the years. This will really be fun to see"Live in action" as opposed to reading it. I have a very technical imagination, I'm already in Nai and I'm cracking up here just imagining a chile approaching a kijana and using this lame line.. ati "Hi handsome , you look like 50cent , lets get to know each other".....LOL,LMAO!!!

"Beware of the woman who loves the bar " BY Oyunga Pala -Nation

http://www.nationmedia.com/dailynation/nmgcontententry.asp?category_id=1&newsid=63563

Ati"They have no ability to discriminate. That you are male and you have a pulse is all that matters. These have a way of getting to you, before you get to them. Some say it's a psychic ability but I say it's pure lust. That's what alcohol does to people. These are the days when women believe in scoring, so unless you want to be a one night-stand candidate, put on a less revealing T-shirt. It's okay to admit that some of us lack skills in these matters and boys shouldn't be embarrassed about it. You are better off swallowing your pride and using the services of a go-between to avoid these psycho women"
.
He he..ati psychic ability ....ha!ha!What does he mean these days women believe in scoring ..Haiya, this has been in place long time ago...:-))

LMAO ....Ati"These days, you find boys trying to look like characters in popular music videos, and hoping the girls will pick out the resemblance. Seriously, do these guys expect that some pretty face would walk up to them and say, 'Hi handsome! You look like 50 cents. Let's get to know each other better?' Men are having a hard time meeting women these days because of such lame tactics"

LMAO

With this kind of comic scenery, I need to be in Nairobi to be entertained .This is much better than a Karaoke bar:-)) . Na kweli I have been away from Nairobi social scene for long. The happy hours here are boring compared to what I'm reading here


"Men have become such vicarious attention seekers it's embarrassing. It is as though overnight, the script was flipped and women became the visual creatures while men were forced to parade around like peacocks- this used to be the preserve of women. That is why I feel obliged to tell all those young men who think they know it all, to sit up straight and listen to some valuable advise. Don't chase women, don't be a jock. You mustn't take female expectations very seriously because they are rarely stimulated by logic. Sex appeal is 20 per cent what you've got, and 80 per cent what girls think you've got! How else do those short, plump, short types get to walk in the company of gorgeous models?:

What does he mean do not take women expectation seriously because they are not stimulated by logic" Haiya what bars is he making this observation, Karumaindo , princess (is that bar still around, that was a ka joint from KU -CARNI stopover..)..wewe I'm not sure who these women are who are not stimulated by logic....well that depends though what the interest one has withe the prey:-)

When women say they desire a strong man, someone who can offer security, they do not exactly mean you have to aspire to be a bouncer.

LOL......................

Well I had so much fun reading this..entertaining!

Brother

B ehaves like a maniac when grown-ups aren’t watching

R ampages most when you want to be quiet!

O rders you around as if you were his servant

T hinks endlessly of fresh ways to torment you

H ates above everything to hear you admired

E ats with loud noises simply to irritate

R esorts to being charming only as the last desperate bribe

ABOVE ALL I LOVE YOU TO DEATH.....SEE YOU SOON!!!

Too Friendly for your Own Demise!

You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to tell you it'll all work out alright

Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away


But any fool can see you're fooling yourself
But you ain't fooling me

So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away


But hoping you could be strong
But could you look at me straight
Tell me what else can I do but say I was wrong?

So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away


You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to say don't you worry it'll all be alright
But he's no good for you
He'll make you think your whole life's been leading to this
And whatever you do
Think about me, oh, and don't be fooled by his kiss

AGE OF EMPIRE

I’m not much of a computer game freak but this is one game that got me hooked since 2002!!. Age of Empire .This is one of Microsoft best selling computer game which involves war and strategy. It is an epic with a life span of 100,000 years, in which the player goes through creating an empire with evolution from dark ages to Imperial age of tribes to great empires.
The player can from different ways to win the game, including: world domination by conquering enemy civilizations, exploration of the known world and economic victory through the accumulation of wealth. You can choose from very easy, easy, hard to hardest. The graphics are excellent. Your enemies can attack you and finish you any minute so you got to be on the watch, have strong wall protecting your empire, castles and watch towers to watch your enemy. If you are playing against more than one individual then you have to make sure that all corners of your empire are under surveillance . At the same time,you have to build your army(strong army ), collect wood, gold,stone and continue to upgrade your institutions..in other words, it is just like running your country; alot of delegation to the ministry of defense , education, agriculture , human resources, religious instititution and general wananchi but not like the Kibaki government, (the ministers in the game are not unruly:-)
…
The game by 2004 had sold 15 million copies. It is an amazing game and again the quick thinking and a great strategy skill is the key. I usually play against the computer or when a friend comes over we network our laptops and play but it is so intense, there are times we go till wee hours of morning. I’m so hooked to it and it is another fix on those stressful days. I cannot believe I like it more than watching T.V!!!/. Age of empire is one of those things that make me go mmmmmmmmhhh…
although today I saw something else that made go double mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhh:-)

Finally -Intelligent Analysis on RAILA & CO.

"Were the 2.5 million voters for the new constitution or the five million that did not vote, not people? Is it logical for Mr Odinga to equate 3.5 million that said No to the new constitution to the only people in a population of 32 million?" by Koigi Wamwere
You can read the rest on
http://www.nationmedia.com/dailynation/nmgcontententry.asp?category_id=25&newsid=63333

Finally someone has voice of reason on all the madness that is gripping Kenya especially from political bickers who have nothing to show since they were elected in office.They have spent our tax payers money trying to achieve their power hungry agendas and to think that ordinary mwananchi thinks they will be better leaders? Who are these Kenyans who are more interested in a snap election than the milk and bread they put on their children's dinner table. Wamwere has said it better than anyone
"Mr Odinga also says the President is not in touch with the people. I find it difficult to believe that just because the people are freer to tear their President to shreds every morning, or because his side lost in a referendum, then the President is not in touch with the people".

If this is not a step ahead from what we were 5 years ago I dunno what is.Would Raila be standing free to say anything to a president or would he be in Nyayo house basement.?

The economy is steering in the right direction (5% growth),more jobs are being created, investors were beginning to restore their confidence on our economy and Kibaki has lost touch with the Wananchi? Kibaki may not be aggressive, he may not have fulfilled all his NARC promises but darn it, it has only been 3 years.! Was he supposed to fulfill all that with a cabinet full of unruly group.? Were they not part of this government they stand to condemn. I 'm pissed and the hell I'm ...because leaders like Raila do not understand time is money..the more he continues his pursuit, his quest to be the next President with whatever means , the more HIV is spreading , the more wananchi are dying of hunger in his home area Nyanza, North Eastern Kenya, Muranga and all the corners of the republic, the more youth turn to drugs and crime for lack of jobs.Is this the Kenya Raila wants in the name of a referendum? So it became a popularity contest, was it what it was? why didn't he tell wananchi that and maybe just maybe all those who didn't vote , would have come out in droves!!!. The constitution is going nowhere, resume the talks and move on . Why can't Kenyans realise that dirty politics hinder economic growth and the main thing right now is to reverse the economy so that we can be a healthy nation!!!!

Poleni I had to let this out of my chest!!!

Preserving Culture & Traditions

To Mozart aka Amadeus -) : Thanks for reminding me to remember who I'm and never apologize for it.






First of let me start by saying, I'm a Kikuyu, I 'm not ashamed of it, I do not condone tribalism and I respect other Kenyan tribes.

While chatting with a pal of mine the other day, he asked a question as to why Kikuyu are often seen as tribalistic because of trying to keep alive their culture and traditions. By speaking their language(although sometimes they can be insensitive when a non Kikuyu speaker is around), keeping up with their customs and holding dear what is Kikuyu. I didn't have a good answer to that question but for a person who has been studying the Kikuyu culture and Kenya in general, I bet he had some answers of his own.

My pal challenged me on how much of a kikuyu I'm and I was ashamed to admit not a good one. I have tend to forget the customs and values that are what made Kikuyu's who they are. Honestly I think Kikuyu have been misunderstood and the following is a synopis courtesy of www.bluegecko.org. It is when reading this that I realized most what Kikuyu are was ingrained many many years ago and has in most part not related to the accusations and stereotypes that have been flying the radar.



Early History: the migration south from Nyambene
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The ancestors of the Kikuyu can be said with some certainty to have come from the north, from the region of the Nyambene Hills to the northeast of Mount Kenya (Kirinyaga), which was the original if not exclusive homeland of all of central Kenya's Bantu-speaking peoples, viz. the Meru, Embu, Chuka, Kamba and possibly Mbeere. The people are believed to have arrived in the hills as early as the 1200s.
From where they came, though, is a matter subject to a lot of controversy (ie. speculation based on few facts): one theory argues that they came from the mythical 'Shungwaya', presumably in Somalia, from which the nine tribes of the coastal Mijikenda also say they came. The other main theory posits that they came from the west, having split from the proto-Bantu of central Africa.


Whatever their early origins, it is generally accepted that starting from around the 1500s, the ancestors of the Kikuyu, Meru (including the Igembe and Tigania), Kamba, Embu and Chuka, began moving south into the richer foothills of Mount Kenya. By the early 1600s, they were concentrated at Ithanga, 80km southeast of the mountain's peaks at the confluence of the Thika and Sagana rivers.
As Ithanga's population increased, oral traditions of all the tribes agree that the people began to fan out in different directions, eventually becoming the separate and independent tribes that exist today. The theory that the Chuka, Embu, Mbeere, Gicugu and Ndia 'broke away' from the main Kikuyu group before arriving at Ithanga is plausible, but is contradicted by the oral traditions of various tribes, many of which include Ithanga in their histories.
The Kikuyu themselves moved west to a place near present-day Murang'a, from where the Kikuyu creation myth picks up the story.


Creation myth - Mukurue wa Gathanga

The actual point at which the Kikuyu became a separate and independent people with their own and unique sense of identity is fairly clearly stated in oral tradition, which says that the founder of the Kikuyu was a man named Gikuyu.
One day, Ngai (god) gave him a wife called Mumbi, and commanded them to build a homestead near Murang'a, to the southwest of Kirinyaga (Mount Kenya). Some versions of the myth say that Ngai first took Gikuyu to the top of Kirinyaga to behold the land that he was giving them.
The place that Gikuyu and Mumbi settled in was full of wild fig trees (sacred among many Kenyan peoples, not just Bantu), and was called Mukurue wa Gathanga, which loosely translated means 'Tree of the Building Site', and even more loosely 'the Kikuyu Garden of Eden'. The location is still sacred, even though the fig tree - which was believed to have been as old as the Kikuyu themselves - disappeared a few decades ago.
Mumbi bore nine daughters, who married and had families, and which eventually became clans. Ngai gave them the highly fertile lands to the southwest of the mountain to live in. These clans - the true ancestors of the Kikuyu - are actually called the 'full nine' or 'nine fully' (kenda muiyuru), for there also was a tenth daughter, who descended from an unmarried mother in one of the other nine clans (which suggests the later amalgamation of at least one other people into the Kikuyu). Until recently, it was a common taboo for anyone to give the exact number of their children; violating the taboo - any taboo - would portend a bad omen.
Virtually every Kikuyu woman is named after one of the 'nine' daughters of Mumbi, and the creation myth - like many others among Bantu-speaking people - suggests that ancient Kikuyu society was originally matriarchal. According to some, the men grew tired of their treatment by the women and rebelled.
This myth was used in a Mau Mau resistance song during the fight for independence. See the lyrics of Mukurwe wa Nyagathanga in the Music and Dance section.




Consolidation and Expansion
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As can be guessed from the above, the early history of the Kikuyu is certainly not simple, and things become further complicated for historians and anthropologists with the inevitable intermarriage and interaction that occurred (and still occurs) between the various tribes and groups that had parted ways at Ithanga, and which continued as the Kikuyu spread out from Mukurue wa Gathanga to cover their present terrain.
The Kikuyu have always been happy to adapt and to adopt, and, in terms of territorial expansion, were by far the most successful of the groups that had originally migrated south from the Nyambene Hills, relying on a combination of land purchases, blood-brotherhood (partnerships), intermarriage with other people, and their adoption and absorption. Only occasionally did warfare figure in this expansion, such as in the early 1800s when a combined Kikuyu, Maasai and Athi force defeated (annihilated?) the hunter-gathering Gumba (or Agumba), a people which one Kikuyu legend refers to as pygmies.


The original inhabitants of Kikuyu-land, it is said, were the Thagicu, who practised iron-working, herded cattle and sheep and goats, and hunted. The similarity in name between Thagicu and Gikuyu would suggest that they were in fact the Kikuyu's earliest known ancestors, if not their primary lineage. They may indeed have been the 'tenth' of the 'fully nine' clans, though I admit that that is merely speculation. Sources differ on the ethnic identity of the Thagicu - some say they were Bantu-speaking, others that they came from Cushitic peoples.
As the land was fertile and ideally suited to agriculture, the population increased rapidly, causing further waves of migration which lasted until the eighteenth century: west into the Aberdares (Nyandarua Mountains), south to the present site of Nairobi, and north to the Nyeri plains and the Laikipia Plateau, where the Kikuyu came into contact with the cattle-herding Maasai (who were evicted from the area by the British early in the twentieth century). Unusually in contacts with the Maasai, the Kikuyu were neither conquered nor assimilated by them, but instead engaged in trade (as well as sporadic cattle raiding), which led to a deep and long-lasting social interaction which especially affected the Kikuyu. During the Maasai civil wars at the end of the nineteenth century, hundreds of Maasai refugees were taken in and adopted by the Kikuyu, particularly those in Kiambu.
In consequence, Nilotic social traits such as circumcision clitoridectomy and the age-set system, were adopted; the taboo against eating fish was also accepted; and people intermarried, so much so that more than half of the Kikuyu of some districts are believed to have Maasai blood in their veins (including Jomo Kenyatta himself, whose paternal grandmother was Maasai). From other peoples came loanwords for ceremonial dances, plants and animals, and the concept of irrigation as an agricultural technique.


Although the Kikuyu were a formidable fighting force, the agricultural nature of their lives meant that violence was generally only used for defence, for they lacked the mobility of pastoralists such as the Maasai and Samburu, who lived to the north and west.
Geographically, the Kikuyu were relatively well protected, with the Ngong Hills so the south, the Nyandarua Mountains to the west, and Mount Kenya to the northeast. To the east, also, were the related Meru, Embu and Kamba people, with whom relations were generally friendly, replying as they did on their trade with the Kikuyu. Defence was thus a primary concern only in the west, where the Kikuyu were wary of settling or venturing out onto open plains for fear of the Maasai, who were interested in controlling the widest possible areas for their herds.
Greater defence was necessary only close to the Maasai border, with the result that villages there were in effect forts and were built for maximum protection. Generally, only those family groups (mbari) with "many warrior sons" or which had attracted a clientele of fighting followers could muster the defence necessary to settle these new areas. These villages were also well concealed: Europeans found they could be walking only metres from a settlement without knowing of its existence.




Trade
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Economically, the Kikuyu were blessed with some of the most fertile land in Kenya, their 'work ethic', and their willingness to adapt and adopt to new situations. This made them ideally suited as traders, so much so that the majority of Kenyan businesses today are run by Kikuyu.
Having settled in an environment ideal for agricultural pursuits, the Kikuyu exploited it to the full, producing food far in excess of what they needed to feed themselves. This was in stark contrast to the Embu, Mbeere, Chuka, Kamba and the hunter-gathering Okiek (Ndorobo), whose lands were far less fertile, and were prone to drought and famine. At those times, when trade became a necessity for their survival, it was to the Kikuyu that they turned. In return for supplying food, the Kikuyu received all manner of goods, ranging from skins, medicine and ironwork from the Mbeere, livestock and tobacco from the Embu, and salt and manufactured trade goods brought up from the coast by the Kamba, with whom the Kikuyu had their most important trading relationship. Trade also occurred with the Maasai, who may well have introduced elements of cattle culture to the Kikuyu. Even as the men were engaged in raiding each other's livestock, Kikuyu women continued to trade with Maasai women.
Local markets proliferated in populated areas, as they do today. Women transported barter goods in caravans and were generally safe under the protection of middlemen (hinga), who represented the group with whom they intended to trade. By the nineteenth century, the Kikuyu had become so adept at trade that they became involved in supplying the Swahili ivory and slave trade with food, eventually - as the Kamba trade declined - usurping the role of the Kamba as intermediaries between the coast and the hinterland.

Prayer for Peace in Kenya!!!!!

Someday, when we are wiser
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and let live

Someday, life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
Godspeed, this bright millenia
On it's way, let it come someday

Someday our fight will be won, and
We'll stand in the sun, in
That bright afternoon
'Til then, on days when the sun
Is gone, we'll hang on
If we wish upon the moon

There are some days, dark and bitter
Seems we haven't got a prayer
But a prayer for something better
Is the one thing we all share

Someday, when we are wiser
When the whole world is older
When we have love
And I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and one day, someday
Someday life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
Godspeed this bright millenia

Let it come
If we wish upon the moon
One day, someday....soon

SONG BY CELTIC WOMAN................

Bitching/Complaining

Women, we have continuously been ridiculed for complaining or airing our dissatisfaction about stuff which men consider trivial and should be overlooked. Well I do not understand why it is that when women express concern or dissatisfaction about something, it is labeled “BITCHING whereas men do the same and it is perceived as “CONSTRUCTIVE COMPLAINING “. I’m guilty as sin for the so called “bitching”.

If I feel dissatisfied about something I say it right there and then and yes I know I can’t change by complaining about it, but there is the satisfaction of letting it known. See, women we are different from men in the sense that, we know how to express our emotions (no wonder we have a longer life span), we say as we feel and do not shy away from expressing our concerns.

In my opinion it is healthy to say what is on ones mind rather than sit gloomy all day and not say anything and then down the road have an outburst. I believe men want to bitch too, they think it only the do not say it.

One of the major complaints by guys about their wives, girlfriends, mother’s sisters, aunties, female colleagues is the so called complaining. The will go on and say” I love my wife or girlfriend, but she bitches too much “ I have been told that by an ex- of mine that I complain too much and yet it seemed like he always shared the opinion about whatever I was complaining about. My question is what do you mean that one complains too much?

Am I not supposed to say it is cold when it is really is? Yeah, yeah, I know I cannot change the weather but there is a certain satisfaction of just saying it just incase it was steaming hot and I was the only one feeling cold :-) . If the food is spicy I ‘m supposed to sit there, burn my tongue out and smile because I’m enjoying the food and not say anything? Should I not say put down the toilet sit, incase I seem to be bitching? Should I come to my boyfi Crib and find crap all over the floor and pretend it is non existent, jump over it and try to squeeze to the part of the couch that has no underwear laying around?.

Well, men say they do not like our bitching yet they keep repeating the same thing we bitch about.? Huh what's that about guys? Guys, let me tell you something, the more you criticize your wifes/Girlfriend/sister, the more she will bitch and the secret to surviving this, just go along with it, infact bitch with her whatever it is even when your opinions are on the other end of the spectrum. There is something nice about a guy agreeing even when he knows that I’m being illogical and just silly.

There at times I just bitch just because ....seriously there those times you just need to let off steam .Those times I ‘m 100% sure I’m doing it for the heck of it, I do not make sense , just plain ignorant at times.One of the guy I went out with for the longest time(7 years) used to say “Irene, I know u are just bitching for the sake of it, you know it so I will let you get off the steam” It is what I like calling a bitch fix:-)
So Fellas let the women bitch if they want to, trust me that is our fix when we are stressed and it is good for the heart. I hate walking with heavy heart when I ‘m concerned about something and cannot say it incase I come across as bitching. So guys instead of critizing your women when they complain, just ignore her , let her do it and trust me you will be better of than I saying “Why do you always bitch.”?.It will also be good for your relationships. Trust me, it is in us to bitch!!

Saddam or Mel :-)

Saddam ? Mel Gibson?..........

Bold and Bald

Yeah there comes a time in a woman's life when enuff is enuff!! I shaved it off in May 2005 and yes I was bald totally. It was bold move I tell ya and at first I was not sure I would withstand the stares, the assumption(yes in my town,sex orientation is hot topic because after San Fran, we are second in same sex whatever_).It was an exhale moment ..yeah I had been waiting to exhale for a while .

It was awesome to walk in the shower and let the warm water flow on my scalp and walk out without worrying about a blow drier or a hot comb. There has been a mixed reaction from both men and women. The women loved it interestingly,some men mostly White adored it but our Nyeuthi brothers eeeish it was those of.... "damn girl why?Yeah! that was suprising that our brothers do not appreciate natural beauty, they would rather see me in horse hair or poodle hair:-) or wherever the synthetic /human hair is made of.
Nway this was not done to "make a statement" kinda of a thing.

It was a medical condition ...a scalp inflamation caused by a bacteria which affect the hair root causing stagnation and cutting the hair around it. At first I blamed it on hair grease/lotions and then came shampoo I changed from Suave, head &shoulders, Nizoral name it..., then cursed on my West African hair dresser for braiding my hair too tight.

Finally I researched on the net and you will not imagine how many women suffer from this condition.I found forums after forums of women sufferers of scalp inflammation and other conditions such as Alopecia. It is real and very apparent with the Blac women. So, as much as I hate Wigs, weaves etc, I now do know why some women opt for them because not all can be bold to go bald!

It is December, I'm still nursing my condition with medication which has costed me $400.00 so far Damn!!!! that is a one way trip to Germany:-).Thank God for Insurance. One tube of medicated foam costs $150 but insurance pays much of that.

The treatment is meant to go on for 10 months to see any improvement. Well, I can see the improvement now and can't wait to braid my hair again and have my ponytail back!!!!
Oh the Balding me!

Told a deep hidden Secret

Today I told someone a deep secret. Dunno why I did it and what the consequences will be.Will that person look at me the same way ? Sometimes sina brakes for real! Sometime I trust too easily or get gullible. At the time I didn't think twice but now, not sure how that was perceived or........ Ngai Mwathani!!!

REST IN PEACE... .......YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE WELL!!!

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER ..AMEN

When life as opening buds is sweet,
And golden hopes the fancy greet,
And Youth prepares his joys to meet,--
Alas! how hard it is to die!
When just is seized some valued prize,
And duties press, and tender ties
Forbid the soul from earth to rise,--
How awful then it is to die!

When, one by one, those ties are torn,
And friend from friend is snatched forlorn,
And man is left alone to mourn,--
Ah then, how easy 'tis to die!

When faith is firm, and conscience clear,
And words of peace the spirit cheer,
And visioned glories half appear,--
'Tis joy, 'tis triumph then to die.

When trembling limbs refuse their weight,
And films, slow gathering, dim the sight,
And clouds obscure the mental light,--
'Tis nature's precious boon to die.

Abuse in Kenya

I know this is a provocative topic but we need a little controversy once in a while. When we are abroad, we hear it all the time, sexual abuse on minors, boys and girls equally. In Kenya it happens but no one talks about it, even in the families that it happens, it is a hush, hush thing but wait a minute, no, rarely do the victims report it.

Sexual abuse on a minor is usually by an uncle, a houseboy, a cousin or even a brother and I would not exclude the fathers, yes this is provocative I know and no I do not watch too much T.V or talk shows. I have heard horror stories of such in our country but in our Kenyan society that is a taboo and should not be brought to light or talked about. I understand this has to do with tribal customs but on this day and age, I think some things need to be talked about.

Some of the girls end up being impregnated by the tender age of 13.This is when the villagers get shocked, for not only do these innocent girls have no boyfriends, there are always at home and yet everyone is buffled as to “how did that happen?”.

I know this girl who was the quietest girl in a certain place, always withdrawn and of course the other kids had a field day with her .When I went to visit that place, she was never even allowed to play with me because the father was very strict. It was while visiting one day that in the middle of the night, the father came asking for a ride to the hospital because the daughter was very sick. Few hours later, she had a baby, she did a very good job of hiding the pregnancy for nine months and as usual everyone was shocked and wait, three years later, the story came out, she had been abused repeatedly and yes by a relative, oh yes, and the minute she would mention to her mother and father about this, they always told her she was trouble maker and crazy hence her withdrawn personality. Well this past year, the girl committed suicide.

Trust me, this is no fiction and it is because of this that I write because I feel bad that no one listened to her and it haunted her for all these years because no one would believe or listen to her. She left a note and named her relative abuser, the father of her child, her uncle, her father’s brother who lived in the same compound. Well the family of course denied the accusations but word is the child looks exactly like the girl’s uncle. Coincidence or strong genes from her father or the uncle ?

When you think about it, numerous girls or even boys goes through this while growing up but since this is not something that is openly discussed in families let alone in the larger community, then the kids move on with life. But, is life really the same for an abused child, do they perform and excel in school like the other kids or are they the students that has to be pushed through school and in case of Kenyan education they have to repeat a grade over and over. Maybe, just maybe, these are kids we made fun of in school, these are kids we called daft and shoved around. This is the girl who would wet her panties and we would make fun of all year around .Sometimes, the teachers for lack of knowing any better would join in, even punish this kid to the joy and mockery of other kids, kinda like when Jesus was being mocked by the Roman soldiers. Did anyone ever wonder why there were such kids in school who behaved this way? Was it because they were slow or something happened at home and with no one to tell developed a “weird” personality.


I can hear it, the lament of the parents that they have done everything to push this child to excel, the blame has flown from the teacher to teacher, school to school, and yet, no one understand why the child is either withdrawn, hostile,have a don’t care attitude or the bully in school. I’m no psychologist but I know and acknowledge that sexual abuse is rampant in Kenya and especially in rural areas because the environment is more conducive and the “children are to be seen not heard” attitude is still very much embraced .

Maybe there are others who are abused and come accustomed to it and became part of life but many years later, the effect of abuse has slowly manifested itself their married life, the way they treat their children, their outlook of life etc?

A girl or a boy child who is abused and keeps mum psychological adjust from the trauma adopting a certain behavior to cope. I do not know about now and I’m not in Kenya to judge the situation and I cannot tell whether this stuff is talked about but in 70s ,80s,the 90s parents rarely talked about such issues and talking of which, Moi even banned usiniharakishe because it was too lacey for T.V back way in the 80s:-) (Down memory lane).

My thinking is, we all talk about developing Kenya but for us to develop we have to develop socially, we have to open up and talk about such provocative issues, we have to stop hiding and talk behind the curtains. They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste, true, education come in all dimensions and to me, a beautiful mind is a healthy mind.

If we expect the future generation to carry our country to even greater heights ,then lets stop, lets talk about it all, Aids, Rape , Abuse and challenge ourselves to be better a country, a country that develops in all directions. I know this is a challenge because as I write this, there many, many families whose heads are just floating above the water, who are lucky if they can have a meal a day and with all those frustration of life, the last thing they want to hear is an accusation of sex abuse let alone talk about it and also the shame that is involved in such a dialogue.

Anyway, it is happening and it has happened to many young kids and hopefully one day these little voices will be listened to andso that they can and develop to be the shining stars of their villages, towns and the country. Again, a beautiful mind is a Healthy mind!

Thank You my fellow Kenyans in the Republic!!!

This is a short blog for my appreciation for the maturity that Kenyans have potrayed during the Referendum Elections. It was with much admiration that Kenyans again have proven to the world that our Nation is made of individuals who value peace above everything else! I have been reading the Western Media insinuation that the likelihood for riots and disorder were about 90%.I never doubted Kenyans would conduct themselves in a peaceful manner and to the Naysayers, we are a different breed of Africans and we are level headed nation ,so stop hatin! It does not matter whether NO or YES wins ,what matters that we are a people who agree to disagree and I hope we will respect what has been decided by the people, move on and continue to build our nation ! I'M PROUD TO BE A KENYAN AND KENYA JUU !!!

Being married or wanting to be married or not wanting!

I’m like every other person, I have the desire to get married someday and live happily ever after but eissh the way married people make marriage look like , I ‘m awfully scared of it. I know I do not want to be alone for sure but the marriage thing is just scary. I ‘m not sure where this kind of a vibe is coming from at my age (See I'm of the marriage age in the Western world, but in African World, oh oh I’m a late bloomer and will die a spinster.) I can imagine my mum and grandma must be thinking that there is something wrong with me . Infact, one of my mum’s friend has accused my acquired education as the cause of my not meeting a marriage partner,She has said to me once “githomo kiu giaku nikio kiratuma wage muthuri:_) meaning that my academic pursuit is all to be blamed because according to her, men do not like a woman who is so educated (whatever that means.. really).

I have been told many a times that I’m a threat to men because "I know way too much in my academic achievement and the ways of the world:-)" , talk too much and engage in some stuff that are only reserved for men, in other words I’m a smart ass and I'm not what is considered in African sense "manageable woman" or docile . Mmmhh I will not go into that further but if someone is scared of my smart assnessness , then keep walking !

Nway I have acquitances and friends who are married and lately when I talk to each one of them , they keep giving me these vibes that marriage is the worst thing that has ever happened since Hiroshima. I'm yet to meet someone who is happy that they are married and would do it all over again. Married people are always talking about their spouses as these villains that they are forced to live with . The daily complaints of "Oh he/she did this, I can’t do this or that coz wifey will kill me, oh wifey did this, husband is home can’t talk "etc. I just do not get it but maybe would not since I have never been married, I have been close to it though Yikes!

Some of my married friends have even adviced me to not consider marriage. Why are married people always miserable about it? I thought when you are married to someone you loved that much to want to spend the rest of your life with, you should be the happiest or if not happiest just happy about the whole deal. What happens? Most people say that people change when they get married but is it a 360 degree turn? or why all over sudden someone becomes this stranger/monster to you to the point of not standing the person. I can see how someone has to adjust to accommodate another human being in their lifestyle but don’t people go into marriage knowing this or at least expecting to see all the changes.

I can understand if you courtship lasted a short period but aren’t there some red flags along the way between meeting – dating- engagement – marriage that should be a warning that this is who the person is and will not change so if you do not like it now ,you will not like it then ? or it is the hope of changing the person after the fact theory

Some people go into it thinking you can perform miracles and change someone. For some women ,they think if you cook nice meals after all the way to a man’s heart is the stomach, yeah right! Will change him to a saint , keep cooking I say !, he will only eat and get fat :-) but if you do not try to understand the reason underlying why he is who he is and acts the way he does then you are outta luck! If you marry a certain guy because you are running against some clock, you need financial security, you are afraid to grow old alone, then chances are you might overlook some stuff about the guy /woman you are getting married to only to get haunted by those red flags ten years down the line.

Don’t people hold honest dialogue about what they are getting into. For instance, if your mate to be has a bad breath, and you hate it , you better tell him/her that you cannot live with it the rest of your life and he/she has to find a way to make you comfortable around that breath, see a doctor, get some surgery or buy some mint supply to last a lifetime:-) or be prepared to live with it but if you cannot live with it at all, you might consider another option. If you sex is not up to per while dating be honest about it and get some Kamasutra lessons so that you will not go looking for it elsewhere or use that as an excuse for walking out of a marriage or staying miserable in it.

Folks have to be honest about everything ( well I would leave the number of people one has slept alone while being honest:-) before they get married and yes pre-marriage counseling (I do not believe in those) is good but both individuals have to be as honest as they can be, no pretence. Do not wait till 5 years later to come out of your pretence closet and surprise someone thinking that subsequently, all will be well.

Why marry someone who you know is not really the kind you would have wanted to marry only to divorce them 5 years later dragging some innocent children down with you?

So, when I make that choice to get married , I will lay down the cards on the table, and will let the person know what I can or cannot live with period!.

That is why I’m not in a hurry to jump the broom and that is why when I date someone I keep it real from day one , no surprises down the line., if he decides to pop the question they will have experienced my anger, joy, my mess or cleanliness, my eating habits, my gossip self at times, the critic in me,my sometimes arrogant, egoistic self, my childishness, my sexual needs, in other words I do not hold back incase I chase him away..way of thinking. He will know what he is getting into:-)
So my mama and cucu have to understand when I get in it,it is for good and plan to be happy in it! and nothing else will do however long I have to wait .

So to all married folks and those anticipating to be, stop hating on marriage or making it look like you are going to some hell or you are in some hell. If you don’t like being married walk out or shut up and make it work ,after all, you made the bed ,so lay on it!!!

A tribute to Auntie Lydiah! -Rest in Peace Forever

It is two years ago since you left me, I never said goodbye, I never lay a wrath on your grave, I have never grieved for you, I have blocked myself from thinking that you are forever gone. I refused accept it till the day I see where they laid you. Why why, at 48 , you were not meant to be the first to go, no you were our rock.My mum and I looked for answers from you. The discipline that you instilled in me has made me get to where I'm and yet I still need to talk to you daily. I want to talk with you about my career, my love life , my sadness, my hopes and dreams but all I can is pretend you are a flight away.

I have written letters not because I can mail them to you in heaven,letters to say what I wanted to say to you. If only you told me on your last letter when you lay in hospital dying that ,that was the last I would hear from you. I would have missed a class,a meal , a shower, stop everything to write to you and tell you , I love you , you will always and forever be loved by me .

I still remember you at the airport when I left. We both locked eyes, you kissed me on the cheeks and we both cried , that was my last cry for you. Today being your anniversary I sit at work , here Iam ,I'm about to lose it, clearly I cannot hold my tears are you watching me right now, I can almost hear your whisper, I can hear your laughter, your beautiful smile . Oh Auntie Lydiah, I miss you like crazy and I don't feel strong anymore, I cannot block my sadness anymore and I will cry till there are no more tears left .

I will let myself cry whenever I miss you and so when I hear and sing this song, I will always cherish you and the many great moments we had together. Sleep in peace and I know I will see you again, I know I will. Thank you Auntie because when I think of your last words "make me proud" I fight to get to the top and for you I will strive till the end to be the best I can be!!

My song to you:


Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above.


Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me
From up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
and that love will live on
And never leave


Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

I know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

Tergat,Paul

I was watching New York Marathon and at the same time trying to keep tabs of Tiger Woods Birdies and boogies over the weekend but must say the Marathon won over golf(yes I'm boring like that).I love sports -watching some of them that is. Anyway that is besides the point. New York Marathon was held on Sunday Nov 6,2005 and it is considered one of the best Marathon event in the world. The New Yokers knows how to make a fuss about this day, too bad P diddy, Diddy ,Sean Combs or whatever he calls himself these days didn't participate this time around:-)

Of all the Kenyan Marathoners, I think Paul tergat is the most graceful and charismatic of all. Many have come, won a marathon or two and fizzled out but this man is as strong as ever. I watched as he held strong from his opponent from SA and even after he run through the victory tape, when his opponent had for a second there looked like he had passed out or was it the disbelieve that he could not shake him off:-), Paul looked calm and he had this awesome smile of victory and man, that was just impressive and bravo to him for making us proud once again!!!

I'm very business minded person and I see how much he is worth. Watching Paul Tergat in the largest Stock Exchange Market (NYSE) was impressive and I confess I have not seen many Kenyan faces in NYSE apart from those who work there(are there?) but then I thought does he know he can be among the movers and shakers of this world with his acquired Celebrity self! A nobody does not just walk in to NYSE as a guest.This honor is bestowed to who and who of this world and I hope he realized that. I was proud to see that image of Paul. Anyway he is on the right track of using his celebrity status apart from buying plots and plots of land , he has a book out "Paul Tergat- Running to the limit". I'm sure it won't be on the list of Oprah must read but that is a start.

I have always been critical of our Marathon runners and why they have not exploited their "celebrity stature" to cash in apart from going to the extreme of changing their citizenship to make the buck. I feel there are many areas that have been left unexploited by these runners. They need to market themselves as a product or a service for that matter. Advertising is one way but that is to the discretion of the product owner and how much they want their product associated with a certain figure . How about some sort of sports clinics, talk shows, motivational speaking, etc. If I were their manager I would approach every talk show in town especially the Marathon week to have for instance Paul as a guest, talk about himself and in doing so pitch for his book free of charge on the show. I know many people who would buy it after watching the show - yes Americans tends to be gullible like that:-)

Seriouly, I would have the runner take some public speaking lessons(Toast Master classes maybe) so that he/she can speak articulately and woo the advertisers with eloquent speech(hoping they won't say ,he speaks so well:-) , charisma and confidence. I would have the runner appear in as many functions and be out there when not in training to create the buzz if you may .

Anyway as they say "the more you know" the more ......:-) because our athletes are being exploited by the so called foreign managers who have landed in rift valley and recruited these young men. Where are the entreprenuer Kenyans who up until now have let foreigner take charge of our products?. If you watched Jerry Maguire and the art of an athlete agent/manager, then image, image image!!!To make the deal you need an image,yes the skills are important but image sells.The so called agent are so much snoozing in this arena with our athletes.

So as long as Kenyan Marathoner do not look at their sport as a business then they will continue defecting and blaming the government for forgetting them but the government cannot soley take the blame. Why should it? The minister of sports should not take the blame solely as well. I also blame the wananchi in general, Why? we have not even acknowledged our own as world celebrities, our Upcoming "hip hop 50cents wannabes" are more embraced than a real talent which is unique to our dear country; those who have had our flag fly high in many corners of the world. Or is it that the the marathoners are not cool enough ? I see Rugby and Cricket (have they ever won gold for Kenya ?) more embraced than the marathoners if you ask me but again who is asking?. If we embraced the marathoners and make a "fuss" about them and make it cool, then the government would pay more attention and the world would definitely make a fuss outta of our Marathoners, don't Y'all think?
I may be wrong though because it seems after all these years , when Standard introduced the Nairobi Marathon and a few celebrity were "Camera caught" it has become "cool" but don't we ever forget who have made it cool ater all!

Genghis Khan

My current read is "Genghis Khan and the making of modern World". For those who do not know who he is , Genghis Khan was a Mongolian military leader who united different tribal groups in Mongolia into one of the very succesful Kingdom and one of the most successful military leader known to man. He conquered vast area ad created mega Kingdom which lasted for 150 years. As I read along what strikes me more is his accomplishment in conquering his enemies from medieval Europe, Mesopotamia and other kingdoms and uniting those he conquered under his leadership . He is accredited for creating international trade (they didn't teach me that in my International Business Class) and Mongolians are accredited for creating the first international Paper Money.Through his conquest he intermingled cultures and way of doing different things from medicine to clothing, although even today there are critics who still won't accredit him for that.

What strike me more is the similarities in the culture of tribes in Mongolia and those of some Kenyan tribes beliefs and practices. For instance, the Mongols believed in Wife inheritance(the luo and luhya practices), their belief that God inhabit in nature especially the mountains(Kikuyu beliefs), their pastoralism way of life and inter tribal warfare between tribes stealing women and property(Kikuyu and Masaai Warfare) paying dowry /gift to the father of the bride.However after his young bride was stolen , he abolished that practice and sworn that no woman would be sold into marriage but throung diplomacy. Anyway it is amazing to read and relate to a culture of tribes miles and miles away.

As for Genghis his military tactics was amazing, the well trained cavalries, archers, their endurance to harsh climate and the use of spies and scouts to report the location of the enemies .He used divide and conquer tactics using benevolence toward those who sided with them and terror and bloodshed against those who did not. He is known to have been the greatest influential leader to be matched only by Napolean and Alexander the great .Anyway still reading the pages through,..to be continued..........................

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney.

Surprisingly, this behavior is prevalent with adolescent but in our society it has extended to blogging world. Who woulda thought it.

So here is something about cliques
A clique is an exclusive social group formed between a few people who share a common interest. Cliques are informal social groups, while formal social groups are known as a society or organization. Cliques are most popularly known in high schools and colleges, and are formed usually by girls.:-))

Cliques can be complex and sophisticated, and can vary very much from one to another. However, there are common features which can be found in many cliques. Two of them are the Queen bee and the Outcast (common terms in Girl Cliques).
Queen bee
The Queen bee is the clique member who has 'emerged' as the leader of the clique. With looks, charisma and the power of manipulation, the leader of a clique reigns supreme over other members and has substantial influence and power on the entire group.
Usually envied and looked upon as a role model by the other clique members, the queen bee's actions are closely followed and imitated, even though the actions of the queen bee may not be positive.
Individuals that the queen bee dislikes can be targeted and become outcasts; clique members may emulate the queen bee by victimizing the new outcast in order to continue to 'fit in'.
Though the leaders of cliques may appear to be in complete control, there is a consistent power struggle among all cliques. The leader of a clique may change from time to time due to a member (or non-member) exceeding the "queen bee"'s abilities and thus attracting followers of the old clique leader. Other outside influences may also act upon the social structure of the clique (such as changing interests or increasing maturity among clique members).
Outcast
The Outcast is one targeted by the clique members, facing potentially physical and psychological attacks The outcast may be humiliated, set up, intimidated and even ostracized. There is little sympathy from witnesses to stand up and defend the outcast, for fear of falling out with the queen bee, being rejected and potentially being the next target.
The effect of the damage on an outcast is usually psychological, though examples of physical violence and harm caused by a clique have occurred. Being shunned and left out, the outcast may face isolation which can result in depression and psychological trauma; these effects may exhibit later in life in conditions such as anti-social behavior. Outcasts may have difficulty seeking help from an adult, as psychological damage can be hard to prove.
Clique behavior, when harmful or hurtful (either emotionally or physically) to others is often considered another form of bullying.
Arguments for and against cliques
Cliques can be fun and enjoyable, as members are regularly involved in social and recreation activities such as going out together. Clique members can also forge closer friendships, as they get to socialise more often. Some doctors think that cliques can help with the sense of belonging and the social skills of a child as they grow older.
On the other hand, cliques may influence members, through strong peer pressure, to start behavior perceived as bad by others, such as smoking or drug abuse. Problems involving cliques may also be a source of distraction from studies, and this is especially true for outcasts who may feel dejected and tormented. People who are ostracized from cliques can react in a number of ways -- they can lose hope in life, or rally and make a point of becoming showing up their tormentor. In the near term, they may decide to start a prank war. Arguments have been made that cliques have been responsible for tragedies like the Columbine High School massacre.

Winnie Mazidikela Mandela -Where are you?

I miss you Winnie where are you?

What became of you Winnie Mandela, one mistake and you were banished by most. The cameras that seemed to follow you everywhere prior to 1992 have all disappeared. You graced pages of many a Magazine but now not even a positive newspaper story. What happened to you? As a young woman I loved you, I admired your courage , your tenacity , your bravery and your strong will to see a free Mandela and South Africa. You were arrested for what you believed in, you were emotionally abused by the apartheid system , you were banished away from your Matrimonial home to some shanty town. All in the name of a free SA and Mandela

Your beauty captured my eyes, your charisma not to forget your feisty self. Oh why would the world ignore you now, where did you go? I thought I would forever see you in the limelight, using the Media that captured every moment of your fight to champion causes. Instead next to your husband, I see another woman, not because she does not deserve to be there but I would have loved to be you.

I see your husband holding another woman who I’m not sure back then fought for his freedom the way you did. You kept his name alive, you cried tears for him, you used yourself as a human shield from those Afrikaans Cops and now for a mistake that you made in the name of fighting for freedom has made your name to be forgotten. Yes, you probably succumbed to temptation, but who would not? You were only human and if tables were turned, who is to say he could not have not done some things to punish the snitchers who were a road block to ANC and Freedom. You were just trying to do the right thing but made a poor judgment on Stompie and it was wrong and now everyone remembers you just for the Mistake that you made. Most have not acknowledged the role you played in fighting - the unspoken Hero. The one who mobilised the youth , the youth that called you "mama" .The unruly youth that led De Klerk to acknowledge that it was time for change. Yet here we are today, no one sings your praises , nobody notices you have gone AWOL. I research new story of you, a book, a newspaper article and a "by the way" sentence but nothing about you. Did you disappear out of shame or because no one wants to stand side by side with you?
We all make mistakes ,some deadly ones but where is the compassion for the once called 'Mama " for the brave Winnie who endured it all. Why has the world turned a blind eye and not want to see you again. Is it just me who feels strongly about you?

Your ex- husband, didn’t he leave his first wife for you? Didn’t he abandon his first wife because fighting for freedom took the first priority? So what made him judge you harshly like that? You brought up decent children all by yourself with all the hardships and arrests. He speaks fondly of these children in his biography but it is because of your strength that they became. Yes, you two may have grown out of love, but shouldn’t he have waited for limelight to die before divorcing you? Or it was politically risky for him to continue being your husband if only for a little bit longer?

I weep for you Winnie, I miss you and I hope to see you again.Oh Winnie, I long the day I see you again in a cover of a Magazine, in some T.V show like Oprah (I wonder why she cannot invite you to her show), on Dateline with Stone Phillips maybe…..anywhere .It was and is because of you, I believe in the oppressed, the poor, the banished, the unfortunate. You gave me courage that one can fight hard to overcome roadblocks to reach one's goals. It was you I admired with your African Attire, the beauty, the classy look that made you truly the African Queen and I emulate it every way I can. You fashionably wore the mother land attire with such poise that made me proud to wear something African which is beautiful and as superior as the Western attire. The way you carried yourself with dignity and Poise forever lingers in my mind. I miss you Winnie!

Watu

People that I have to share the world with but do not care much about

Liars – I cannot stand liars, I cannot stand people who lie to benefit themselves while in the process hurting others. It is even worse if I can see through the lie and the person who is lying assumes you are too dumb not to see through it.

Attention Seekers – I know a few people who will do anything to get attention from people, they are louder than anyone in the room, and they will go out of their way to do something to gain recognition. Such individuals the way I see it are weak and by wanting approvals from other is the only way they can feel strong and to those I say –Snap out of it!

Followers – Some people will do anything just because others are doing it. They are good at maiming /aping and whether whatever they are aping is good for them or no but they will do it just to fit in. How desperate can one be, to do something coz it is being done and deep down you know it is not good for you is beyond me. -That is Stupid Period!!!

Nosy – I cannot stand nosy people. If I do not look like I want to tell you about me, what I’m ,what I do ,who I’m screwing etc. Why the hell are you being nosy for? Some people have no shame they try to dig and find out who you are and once you fall for it and let them know, they run around kissing and telling - The rumour Mill Tribe.

Ass kissers – I cannot stand ass kissers and in this I mean the only person's ass I kiss sorta is my boss's because he holds my rent money, my mechanic's, he can screw up my carburetor, my hair dresser's, she can give me a bad hair cut, my dad and mum's, brother's, I still try to borrow money of them even now, so I kiss ass big time there. Other than that, an ordinary man or woman who does not fall into the above category, Please, YOU WISH!!. I think groupies fall into this category? I have lots of pride to stoop that low

Pretenders – Sometimes pretenders can fall into nosy category. These are individual who put a class act and behave in a certain way and deep down they know for fact they do not mean what they say but just want to put you “on” for the sake of it. What a waste of energy!

Finally all those who dismiss others, alienate others because they themselves think they are better or are the chosen few. Just because someone does not hail from your village or does not speak the same language as you do does not mean they are worthless, you might be surprised what you find if you took the time!!!!

Le Tue Parole - Your words

Another one of my favorite song, sang in Italian though .....By Andrea Bocelli (Romanza Album)


Where the sun goes die,
where the wind rest
there are all the words
of those who have been in love
and have not forgotten
all that there has been.
And I shall wait for the sunset
some time the wind must pass
I shall let myself be caried
where the words were born.
I shall look for your words
I want to bring them back to you.
It is not right that a woman
for fear of making mistake
cannot fall in love
and has to content herself
with a story which is always the same
of a life dreamed.


Where the sun goes to die
where the wind rests
I have met many people
who , in the sea of words
and amid utter confusion
still hope for love
it is not right that a woman
for fear of making mistake
cannot fall in love
and has to content herself
with a story which is always the same
of a life forgotten
and has to content herself
with a story which is always the same
of a life to be forgotten

:-((

Life's Lesson

Life is B@#

Have you ever sat down and wondered what the hell is wrong with you. Have you ever woke up feeling worthless, feeling like your life is stagnant and you do not why that is or what to do about it. You did all they told you to do. You obeyed all the rule of life as laid down by your parents and society in general. There are times one feels like something is wrong somewhere, feel like life is cutting you a raw deal. When you looked around you see some people who didn’t try that much but have it all. Are some people just lucky or they are working over time to score in life than you. Interestingly, but it is true, there are times I look around and see someone who has defied all the societal rules but he/she seems to be scoring goals left and right while I’m shooting blanks. You almost wonder what is it they do have, do they have extra pound of brains than you do or why their stuff are going on so well and yours seems to be frozen in time. Life can be a b@#### as they say.

Social Etiquette & Business Acumen

Sometimes I feel that our Kenyan society does not teach us all about life and even in most families no one gives us life’s most important lesson apart from go to school, get the Grade A and off you go to campus and you will be rich and happy ever after. They neglect to tell us some secret of success such self confidence. I seriously think Kenyan schools should have “Success Acumen” 101. In this class one would be taught how to speak loudly and clearly (yes I’m soft spoken at work and this has not done me justice.), how to walk with confidence, how to hold a conversation and argue intelligently without resulting to insults and brawls (well with the example of our politicians on that .. I dunno), how to eat in public (that is important) and even how to handle stress.

This lesson I think should also be introduced to all the politicians, businessmen and women too especially if they are going to represent themselves or Kenya in an international environment. Trust me how you hold yourself socially can make or break a deal and that is true! So having 3 degrees flying high may be cool but lack of some important social etiquette might leave you high and dry. Have you ever noted that how many Kenya books smarts we have in Diaspora , some work for the high and mighty,fortune 500 Companies but they are still stuck in low level management? I think in order for Kenyans to compete successfully , we need to style up with our social etiquette, we need to polish that grammar, we need to speak like we have it (yes that is why Nigerians gets head hata kama we are so quick to bash them ), we need to know that kila siku siyo Githeri, go out explore other dishes so that when you go to that corporate cocktail or Christmas , you won’t be dashing away from the sushi or that Turkey Boilo)))) . Learn how to hold a wine glass siyo kushika like you are holding a bottle of kenbrew and many more examples I can give.

I have had a chance to meet even some of our Politicians when they visit U.S and I cannot imagine that they are the chosen ones to represent us in major meetings with dignitaries while their social etiquette is so appalling wallahi! Social grace can make you ride high and score that big contract or climb that corporate ladder faster than we think. We are in a global community and to compete successful we need to take some of these things in consideration.

It is good to know only what is Kenyan but at times perusing through other cultures can be beneficial too. Never know where they might send you when you work for one of the Multinationals or when your business goes global!!!

Loveliest love song ever written!

When You Say You Love Me - By Josh Groban

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly I’m falling
Lost in a dream
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting
You say those words, my heart stops beating
I wonder what it means

What could it be that comes over me
At times I can’t move
At times I can hardly breathe
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and

When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive
You’re the one I’ve always thought of
I don’t know how, but I feel sheltered in your love
You’re where I belong
And when you’re with me, if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between the heavens and earth
Frozen in time
Oh, when you say those words
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive

And this journey that we’re on
How far we’ve come and I
Celebrate every moment
And when you say you love me
That’s all you have to say
I’ll always feel this way
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment, I know why I’m alive
When you say you love me
When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you?

Revolutionize Women and S.....

I'm in the mood for a provocative topic,so excuse Wanjiru ;-)

Should women have sex like men?
To me I say... hell yeah! and why not . How many times have I heard women who are my friends, colleagues at work and other females talk of how they met this great person,dated, he is not all that but just wants to sleep with him .When they sleep with the dude and perhaps the dude just disappears and starts acting up because he could tell you were not all that into him , why do we get mad and rave like a wounded lioness in jungle of Africa? You really didn't want anything with the guy right? So why put emotions in it. Why then get pissed off when the guy takes off after hittin it?Why can't we women have sex with no feeling attached to it. Even when women knowingly and just wanted a one night stand we still put some emotions in it and hate the person afterwards if they never ever call you or snob you next time you bumped into him.

Why do men get mad or hate on women who have sex with them for pure sex ( mwenjoyo) and want nothing else? Why do the men feel disrepected and feel all too bad if you tell them that that is all you wanted after the fact:-) . Why can't women just "hit it" (Can I say that:-) and leave with no intention of hooking up again or even a phone call? Maybe the woman just wanted some good ol' times and had no intention of going back for more.

Why do men get shocked and get insulted if a woman say'it was not good? They ask how it was and then when you say the truth they get shocked by it. Eh ..why can't I say I wasn't "satisfied" and it sucked! Why then did you ask? I know it is a kind of assurance but sometimes it just sucks either because it was too small, too big ,didn't hit the right spot or the "touch was not there period!

Why is it when a woman sleeps with a guy the first time she is loose? .So what do we call the guy? . Why aren't we allowed to "test " the water before we dive in. Nobody wants to work so hard on something and then find out the end product sucks and does not deliver !

Sometimes I just wonder? mmhhh........................................

True Beauty

If this is not the real beauty in Africa, I dunno what is..Africa need to be authentic in their beauty contest not just a matter of copying the western countries sense of beauty.Maybe Kenyan beauty contests can borrow a leaf?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/05/africa_zimbabwe0s_rural_beauties/html/1.stm

Nat - Enough already!

I'm fed up! so, so fed up of seeing this dead end investigation of this teen on every channel across US. Enough already! Kwani she is the only person who has ever disappeared, what about the minorities in this country who disappear every day and get no air wave but when a rich Alabama girl disappears every channel in the face of the earth is on the story . I sympathize with the family lakini this news is intoxicating...

What happened to News, normal educational news ..I even miss KBC 's mambo leo, I could learn something from it! By the way is that "talk show" still on on KBC?

That is why my favorite channel is Public Television ,at least I get good humor from "are you being served? and the Vicar and not to forget the breathtaking places on"globe trekker"!
Okay I had to rant a lil:-)

To be in Denial

In our lives we have all been in stage where we are in denial about something , I know I have and still do. For instance, you may be gaining some few pounds on all those sensitive areas ie the bums, the thighs and the lower tummy(especially that) .Thanks to all the chocolate and cheesecake that you ate when you were in denial that "he still loves me, he will be back " moment only 4 months down the line you hear he got engaged and you are invited to the wedding:-).

Back to the analogy, one day you go flirting with yourself in the mirror and trying this outfit you have been dying to floss with on a certain occasion. Lo and behold:-) it cannot fit you the way it did a month ago! . This is the moment of denial . You are like hakuna, there is no way. "it must have shrank when I I took it for dry cleaning, haki they must have washed it with cold water" Yeah right, that is pure denial, you know you have not been hitting the gym they way you used to five times a week, you have reduced it to twice a week and when you do, you are on an ellipitical the lowest level , no incline and just reading away the latest people magazine looking all cute in that sexy gym outffit :-) . Yes I have done that, deny I'm not gaining weight , ati si I work out and I'm not losing nada na kumbe I have been eating all those chapos and munching away all the snacks my finger can get hold of day in ,day out and not burning it enuff calories!

Thing is, we all in our lives one way or another stay in denial about something when we are not ready to face the truth, when the truth pierces the core of your heart, when we fear we will be all alone to face it but you know ultimately you will have to face the facts however unpleasant.

Denial is good only temporarily but in the long run it can cause more harm than good when you realize how much time you waste being in denial instead of admitting the truth and move on. If your relationship with certain someone is not working and deep down you know it , face it head on and it might be the best thing for both of you. If your kajamaa is cheating and you have been excusing him day , in day out when confornted by family and freinds, face it and you are better of. If you failed that exam because you didn't study hard enough, don't go blaming the professor that he didn't cover the material well. Admit that you need to study harder next time or even you are not so good in that topic. It is hard to admit and to face facts about stuff that go haywire in our lives that maybe "we should have known" but the fast you admit and embrace the mistakes, the better for your peace of mind and soul and that , will make you a stronger and better person.

Immigrants behaving .......

I like talking about the social issue that affect us and I'm not shy about it either , so bear with me if I may sound too crude/blunt /kuonea watu.
This is all true for most of the immigrant peeps in U.S and I always like to talk about Kenyans and the other Africans because I care and I have better experience with them more than the other immigrants. One thing I'm going to say loud is "What is wrong with us?". Why do we come to stato and then we feel like we have climbed a certain social status even more than the wenyenji themselves .

For instance, I know that feeling of being able to acquire a car on credit since when most of us left Kenya, credit for a car was not that accessible and trying to ask your parents for their car was something you would have dared not. I also do understand the need for car in most states as means of transport to and from work. However, why would one feel the urge to buy a $40,000 car is beyond me ands then you have to take 3 jobs to afford that car. Why would one want to punish thyself:-) that much really just to take almost 10 years to pay for it when it has depreciated to almost zero worth ?

Also, while we were in Kenya, taking a bus /matatu to town was a normal thing, you know the KBS bus packed with humans hanging on the door. Now, come to stato and to be seen in a bus for some Africans /Kenyans is such a demeaning thing ,they would not be caught dead doing it. The bus may be going to the same destination near jobo but the Mwafrika petho can and will not let him get in that bus to save a dollar or two plus gas. The complain usually that the bus is so slow or somethin like that . Now this is where the African -Americans go "nigger plizz", while we were in Kenya you could wait in that bus on Jogoo or Mombasa road and God forbid there was an accident ahead and you will be forced to stay in that crowded Mat or bus for hours or if you feel energetic walk home but here in Stato a bus is on time , and the traffic flows very well in comparison to Kenya and now it is too slow ,give me a break !. So what makes us feel such pethos when we get here.?

Another example, every sunday newspaper has coupons for sales in grocery store for instance you know save 50cts on this or that or buy one get one free but Mwafrika instead of taking advantage of free money, we feel ashamed that people will look at you like you've got no money. Infact when you do so that shows how smart you are or what I would like to call " Financial Management etiquette".:-)

This is another one..ahhh, okay I can understand if you have germ phobia and you care about what you drain in your intestines but I know some folks who go in the name of 'I do not drink tap water" but they can go to a fountain a drink the same water:-) The same folks while they were in Kenya especially if you happened to be in some boarding school in the slope on Mt Kenya like I was, there was nothing like "bottled water" It is either you drink the tap water or hit the highway. Also, most families in Kenya never budgeted for bottled water back then when doing grocery shopping, so why would someone all over sudden when they get here they vehemently dismiss tap water like the tap water is the worst thing that has ever happened since leap year:-) .First of , I personally think the tap water here is more purified and treated than the Kenyan water, I could be wrong but ati would rather be broke but buy tap water( ok bottle water is cheap but that money can be channelled elsewhere).

I also have noticed in some states in U.S , Kenyans are very good at holding bashes, drink away all weekend but if you ask them to contribute even $5:00 to help a needy child in Kenya, someone must just say something so smart to you , you will wish that you never, ever asked. There is nothing wrong with having one or two to unwind after a long week but should we be so ingrained in it such that it becomes a club with almost a membership fee:-) There is a full year calender of where the hang will be. Numerous websites too with everyone holding a bottle of heinken glorifying alcohol and the hero is the jamaa or chikdee who appears every month or is it every bash . I'm not going into details but can't we find other activities that we enrich ourselves with . Imagine if we formed an investment club and contribute twice a month the same cash we use to hang and drink away all weekends or even the flights we take on thanksgiving /labor day weekend in the name of "tafutaring where the hang are" . In an year, we would have some money to invest in real estate somewhere or even afford a fab vacation for a week in vegas with no money worries.
Well that is just a synopsis of how we behave , more to come when I get syke.....

If I was down would you still have love me?

We all have standards of who we would like to meet for a summer rendevous or even a possible relationship. I'm going to speak of chile's in particular because I'm one of them (go figure) . We all want this guy who has it together , a great job, a good house , the latest car , the latest tech toys etc . When I'm strolling on the street of downtown DC especially during lunch break, I'm always checking out the guys .Usually the guys that catches my attention are the clean cut types, nice suits, well lets say white collar type. If one even acknowleges my presence and attempts to smile or say hi, trust me the adrenaline shoots up, I prolly have this big ol smile and followed by a feeling of "mmm I'm still a great catch" and start imagining what "we" could do together and what kind of a relationship we would have ,breakfast in bed, hair down, sunglasses riding his ferrari, candle light dinner on his yatch etc.

The same scenario, only this time around, it is from one of the "brown" UPS/FeDex guys or even one of those "can you spare a quarter type" and my reaction is completely the opposite. I suddenly frown and even though I will say hi back at him, I 'm already cursing, even to the point of going to the mirror later to see why he even dared to think we could have anything going ,if he were to even try. I even go ahead and see myself in that one bedroom apartment with him , children crying all over the place , strugglin to make ends meet etc. When I think about it though, there are many stories of how most of us women we aim so high for the potential guy,some get "lucky" and get that one when he is up and making it but if he were to lose that job suddenly and he is reduced to wearing the UPS/Fedex uniform or even begging for that quarter, would you stay or suddenly the mad love somehow vanishes?

I know of so many women who will love a guy for what he is careerwise, what he drives etc. Question is? if you like all those things he has ,why don't you get them yourself , it is actually more satifying when you call it yours you know....so anyways please if you are with someone for what they make, drive etc ," la vita è piena scossa" Life can shock you when that person's life changes dramatically and loses it all . So be with someone if you really and trully love the person for better or worse not only when they are fun and can provide and when all is gone , your love turns sour, that is inhuman period!

Anyway I'm not saying that you should not have standards, certainly, you deserve the best but choose wisely!

Emotional Cheating-Is it Cheating?

This is the hottest topic of relationship of late. Does emotional cheating exist? When your spouse goes to work , does he have a co-worker whom he bares it all emotionally?Someone they sit with at lunch hour and talk about you and why you are giving your spouse grief even when he has given you all:-). Does your better half have a friend of the opposite sex who they open up to more that he /she would ever open up to you? Do you have a friend who you ran to when you think your mate is not understanding you ? Most people even when they are unwilling to admit there is that someone in your life that you feel so comfortable with that you can tell anything and you feel they understand you all too well and it is usually of the opposit sex. You harbor secret adminration of that person and you wish that your other half would be like him/her. When you have a disagreement with your significant other, that is the person you sneak out and call 911 to air your problem seeking comfort.

Well according to a survery that is emotional cheating and that opens doors to even the danger of sexual encounters. Now question is , how many people believe that is true? that one can cheat emotionally? Like Brad Pitt said in an interview, we were not meant to be with one person for the rest of our lives. Some people raised an eyebrow on that comment but I tend to concur.Why? Because think, even though you are madly in love with someone and you believe they have all the qualities you have been looking for ,there is a percentage of him/her that you do not like and that you see in someone else.

No one can fulfil our needs 100% ,I refuse to believe that. I have a very close friend who I tell anything and everything under the sun( even about that time of the month misery) and if and when I meet my significant other, he will never replace my friend no matter what.This is something he will have to live with knowing that I have such a friend who happen to be a guy who I talk to .I know most guys hate it when their true loves have guy friends and they will question you about it, will hate the friend for absolutely no reason but I think we all cannot have all our needs fulfilled by one person and the more we embrace the better our relationship would be. By the way I'm not advocating infidelity but allow someone to have a friend out there (not for dilly dallying with under the sheets) who they can confide with or talk to because the way I see it, if they have never ended up together romantically ,chances are they prolly will never ever !!

However, there is a difference between someone who has been your friend long before your significant other came along and one who is acquired after the fact. The latter may mean that you both need to work on your relationship, better communication or a certain fire died along the way and needs to be re-ignited. Anyway whether you choose to believe it or not , we all have someone out there we emotionally cheat with, if at all that is cheating...

Thank God summer is over!

I'm not sure whether because it was damn hot this summer or because I thought I was going nuts but something about this summer that I want it to end in a hurry( Ok for the most part I do know why I dread this summer:-(.
Despite that , I'm not sure why I'm never a fan of summer like most people do in the States but the hype that sorrounds it just makes it for the most part boring! The kids being out of school, the adults are hype, the bachelors up and about trying to hook with someone for the summer fling grrhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I just think summer is so overrated. I can't stand the question in the office of where are you going for vacation this summer? what did you do this weekend, the weather was great? Nobody seem to ask when it comes to Winter, maybe I like vacationing in winter, go to Aspen and skii away all weekend and drink hot cocoa in front of a fire place (ok that is not really true until the day I meet my millionaire husband or I become a millionaire myself). Anyway I'm one person who hates doing stuff when everyone is doing them .This is weird I just don't enjoy taking vacations when everyone is , going to the park when all my neighbors are there and especially swimming in the apartment complex swimming pool when all those brats are in the pool. Nothing against the kids in the pool but all that hype just too much.
Well summer is almost over and good riddance, fall cannot come fast enuff!!!

I'm so back!

Okay, I'm back It was trying:-) to be away for long and missing all the fun but I'm refreshed body, mind and soul. Watch the space for many a topics to talk about.
Akiey: I bloggin again..and you know what that means...you are not taking any break now ..I saw your " eyes ..smthing' open or shut .....:-) ..