Friday, October 28, 2005

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney.

Surprisingly, this behavior is prevalent with adolescent but in our society it has extended to blogging world. Who woulda thought it.

So here is something about cliques
A clique is an exclusive social group formed between a few people who share a common interest. Cliques are informal social groups, while formal social groups are known as a society or organization. Cliques are most popularly known in high schools and colleges, and are formed usually by girls.:-))

Cliques can be complex and sophisticated, and can vary very much from one to another. However, there are common features which can be found in many cliques. Two of them are the Queen bee and the Outcast (common terms in Girl Cliques).
Queen bee
The Queen bee is the clique member who has 'emerged' as the leader of the clique. With looks, charisma and the power of manipulation, the leader of a clique reigns supreme over other members and has substantial influence and power on the entire group.
Usually envied and looked upon as a role model by the other clique members, the queen bee's actions are closely followed and imitated, even though the actions of the queen bee may not be positive.
Individuals that the queen bee dislikes can be targeted and become outcasts; clique members may emulate the queen bee by victimizing the new outcast in order to continue to 'fit in'.
Though the leaders of cliques may appear to be in complete control, there is a consistent power struggle among all cliques. The leader of a clique may change from time to time due to a member (or non-member) exceeding the "queen bee"'s abilities and thus attracting followers of the old clique leader. Other outside influences may also act upon the social structure of the clique (such as changing interests or increasing maturity among clique members).
The Outcast is one targeted by the clique members, facing potentially physical and psychological attacks The outcast may be humiliated, set up, intimidated and even ostracized. There is little sympathy from witnesses to stand up and defend the outcast, for fear of falling out with the queen bee, being rejected and potentially being the next target.
The effect of the damage on an outcast is usually psychological, though examples of physical violence and harm caused by a clique have occurred. Being shunned and left out, the outcast may face isolation which can result in depression and psychological trauma; these effects may exhibit later in life in conditions such as anti-social behavior. Outcasts may have difficulty seeking help from an adult, as psychological damage can be hard to prove.
Clique behavior, when harmful or hurtful (either emotionally or physically) to others is often considered another form of bullying.
Arguments for and against cliques
Cliques can be fun and enjoyable, as members are regularly involved in social and recreation activities such as going out together. Clique members can also forge closer friendships, as they get to socialise more often. Some doctors think that cliques can help with the sense of belonging and the social skills of a child as they grow older.
On the other hand, cliques may influence members, through strong peer pressure, to start behavior perceived as bad by others, such as smoking or drug abuse. Problems involving cliques may also be a source of distraction from studies, and this is especially true for outcasts who may feel dejected and tormented. People who are ostracized from cliques can react in a number of ways -- they can lose hope in life, or rally and make a point of becoming showing up their tormentor. In the near term, they may decide to start a prank war. Arguments have been made that cliques have been responsible for tragedies like the Columbine High School massacre.


Poi said...

Very deep and knowledgeable post this on cliques.

Interesting because in one of my prereqs was an ILR class and had to do ppt presentation on cliques with me using the columbine high school massacre as my major example. So I related too well with this post.

Cliques just as said in your post can be just as good and bad. Some are for the right reasons while some are not. Some destoy,others build.

After all is said and done, I bet more is done. Its all on a person to choose who and what to identify with and in what ways and for exactly what reasons/benefits and why. I think its also big on self-esteem and what a person thinks of him/herself. Some persons can't do w/out been part of a clique for then they feel as though they don't belong while others need no approval hence need not be a part of anyclique/one.

Let me stop posting. Lovely post!

Happy Weekend :)

Couch 'tato said...

cliques are as nasty as nasty get..but i wonder do we also live or group as cliques...whether as friends or colleagues or as we alienate others without knowing we're doing it.

cause i've come to realise like when am with nyeri the people i aggregate with alienates others...yet that was not an intention!

Acolyte said...

Very interesting somewhat ties into what I had posted.Well I for one am not a clique person at all but as humans we are all members of some group or other I think what differs is how the tight the bonds of that group are and if they allow outsiders in or not.All in all a good post.

Irena said...

My dear Poi, Couch tatoaka Nicklaus:-) and Acolyte: I agree cliques can be as good or as bad and of course yes people form a group based on similar interests et al.However, I'm still wary of the cliques that form to alienate others just because they are not "cool enough" .
I what I watched "mean girls" the movie and the cliques shown in this movie can be traumatizing for young girls growing up and to me that can never be positive. I passionately speak of it because when I was in high school I was traumatized by the so called"cliques" and the harm they did to me will never ever erase in my memory and those girls will never ever know what they did to me, how they ganged on me and impacted my adult life with such force and I will never ever forget. Not only do I not trust women , I can never make friends very easily with women for the fear of them ganging up on me. I have problem with opening up and making friends easily since then and they made me wary of a "group" of individuals. I have a stigma or I even like to see it as "phobia" of "cliques" I never ever want to be in a clique and when I do and realise that I 'm marginalising other people, I get away from it. I have always wanted to be around everyone , even the beggar on the street .Everyone is interesting and have a story to tell if only we take a second to come out of where we think we belong and brighten another's day however uncool.

Poi said...

I cannot agreewith you more Irena that sometimes cliques do cast dark shadows. I'm not in way for anything that's formed to alienate others by making them feel less wanted/appreciated or not as cool. I'm not for anything that makes others feel left out and unwanted because I can attest to there been no worse feeling as such.

Sorry for you experience.

This post has taught me alot though I have never been one for cliques its nice to have someone keeping the point home.


Happy Monday and week!

Acolyte said...

@ Irena
I guess now I feel you on the clique issue.I used to have such issues in hi school and I dealt with it by becoming introverted but I do know that it is more painful for gals as ya'll are more social then guys.On the plus as a result I never fully intergrate with one clique so i can fit in with several cliques and have a wider range of pals.Anyway have a good week and keep the posts coming

Irena said...

Acolyte and Poi, I'm glad you feel me on this and I trully believe some people gain their identity from cliques and add positive 'vibe" in their lives as well. I know too some people cannot live without cliques and are uncomfortable being alone and have their sense of belonging in in a group. However, if a clique maliciously harms another person through gossip, alienation, verbal abuse and in some cases even physical abuse,then by God that is just inconsiderate and insensitive and I have no respect whatsoever for such groups! Yep I learnt the hard way how cliques can do harm to someone and impact someone's life but it is because of it that I do know how to distinguish genuine people who have my best interest at heart and those who are there for the "moment".

Anonymous said...

Hi - came across this while fact-checking some information and it looks like either has taken text from your blog or vice versa. Just a friendly note that assuming they haven't stolen your post for their site, you should credit them someplace on the page to make it clear it's quoted material and not your own original text.