Friday, August 26, 2005

Nat - Enough already!

I'm fed up! so, so fed up of seeing this dead end investigation of this teen on every channel across US. Enough already! Kwani she is the only person who has ever disappeared, what about the minorities in this country who disappear every day and get no air wave but when a rich Alabama girl disappears every channel in the face of the earth is on the story . I sympathize with the family lakini this news is intoxicating...

What happened to News, normal educational news ..I even miss KBC 's mambo leo, I could learn something from it! By the way is that "talk show" still on on KBC?

That is why my favorite channel is Public Television ,at least I get good humor from "are you being served? and the Vicar and not to forget the breathtaking places on"globe trekker"!
Okay I had to rant a lil:-)

Thursday, August 25, 2005

To be in Denial

In our lives we have all been in stage where we are in denial about something , I know I have and still do. For instance, you may be gaining some few pounds on all those sensitive areas ie the bums, the thighs and the lower tummy(especially that) .Thanks to all the chocolate and cheesecake that you ate when you were in denial that "he still loves me, he will be back " moment only 4 months down the line you hear he got engaged and you are invited to the wedding:-).

Back to the analogy, one day you go flirting with yourself in the mirror and trying this outfit you have been dying to floss with on a certain occasion. Lo and behold:-) it cannot fit you the way it did a month ago! . This is the moment of denial . You are like hakuna, there is no way. "it must have shrank when I I took it for dry cleaning, haki they must have washed it with cold water" Yeah right, that is pure denial, you know you have not been hitting the gym they way you used to five times a week, you have reduced it to twice a week and when you do, you are on an ellipitical the lowest level , no incline and just reading away the latest people magazine looking all cute in that sexy gym outffit :-) . Yes I have done that, deny I'm not gaining weight , ati si I work out and I'm not losing nada na kumbe I have been eating all those chapos and munching away all the snacks my finger can get hold of day in ,day out and not burning it enuff calories!

Thing is, we all in our lives one way or another stay in denial about something when we are not ready to face the truth, when the truth pierces the core of your heart, when we fear we will be all alone to face it but you know ultimately you will have to face the facts however unpleasant.

Denial is good only temporarily but in the long run it can cause more harm than good when you realize how much time you waste being in denial instead of admitting the truth and move on. If your relationship with certain someone is not working and deep down you know it , face it head on and it might be the best thing for both of you. If your kajamaa is cheating and you have been excusing him day , in day out when confornted by family and freinds, face it and you are better of. If you failed that exam because you didn't study hard enough, don't go blaming the professor that he didn't cover the material well. Admit that you need to study harder next time or even you are not so good in that topic. It is hard to admit and to face facts about stuff that go haywire in our lives that maybe "we should have known" but the fast you admit and embrace the mistakes, the better for your peace of mind and soul and that , will make you a stronger and better person.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Immigrants behaving .......

I like talking about the social issue that affect us and I'm not shy about it either , so bear with me if I may sound too crude/blunt /kuonea watu.
This is all true for most of the immigrant peeps in U.S and I always like to talk about Kenyans and the other Africans because I care and I have better experience with them more than the other immigrants. One thing I'm going to say loud is "What is wrong with us?". Why do we come to stato and then we feel like we have climbed a certain social status even more than the wenyenji themselves .

For instance, I know that feeling of being able to acquire a car on credit since when most of us left Kenya, credit for a car was not that accessible and trying to ask your parents for their car was something you would have dared not. I also do understand the need for car in most states as means of transport to and from work. However, why would one feel the urge to buy a $40,000 car is beyond me ands then you have to take 3 jobs to afford that car. Why would one want to punish thyself:-) that much really just to take almost 10 years to pay for it when it has depreciated to almost zero worth ?

Also, while we were in Kenya, taking a bus /matatu to town was a normal thing, you know the KBS bus packed with humans hanging on the door. Now, come to stato and to be seen in a bus for some Africans /Kenyans is such a demeaning thing ,they would not be caught dead doing it. The bus may be going to the same destination near jobo but the Mwafrika petho can and will not let him get in that bus to save a dollar or two plus gas. The complain usually that the bus is so slow or somethin like that . Now this is where the African -Americans go "nigger plizz", while we were in Kenya you could wait in that bus on Jogoo or Mombasa road and God forbid there was an accident ahead and you will be forced to stay in that crowded Mat or bus for hours or if you feel energetic walk home but here in Stato a bus is on time , and the traffic flows very well in comparison to Kenya and now it is too slow ,give me a break !. So what makes us feel such pethos when we get here.?

Another example, every sunday newspaper has coupons for sales in grocery store for instance you know save 50cts on this or that or buy one get one free but Mwafrika instead of taking advantage of free money, we feel ashamed that people will look at you like you've got no money. Infact when you do so that shows how smart you are or what I would like to call " Financial Management etiquette".:-)

This is another one..ahhh, okay I can understand if you have germ phobia and you care about what you drain in your intestines but I know some folks who go in the name of 'I do not drink tap water" but they can go to a fountain a drink the same water:-) The same folks while they were in Kenya especially if you happened to be in some boarding school in the slope on Mt Kenya like I was, there was nothing like "bottled water" It is either you drink the tap water or hit the highway. Also, most families in Kenya never budgeted for bottled water back then when doing grocery shopping, so why would someone all over sudden when they get here they vehemently dismiss tap water like the tap water is the worst thing that has ever happened since leap year:-) .First of , I personally think the tap water here is more purified and treated than the Kenyan water, I could be wrong but ati would rather be broke but buy tap water( ok bottle water is cheap but that money can be channelled elsewhere).

I also have noticed in some states in U.S , Kenyans are very good at holding bashes, drink away all weekend but if you ask them to contribute even $5:00 to help a needy child in Kenya, someone must just say something so smart to you , you will wish that you never, ever asked. There is nothing wrong with having one or two to unwind after a long week but should we be so ingrained in it such that it becomes a club with almost a membership fee:-) There is a full year calender of where the hang will be. Numerous websites too with everyone holding a bottle of heinken glorifying alcohol and the hero is the jamaa or chikdee who appears every month or is it every bash . I'm not going into details but can't we find other activities that we enrich ourselves with . Imagine if we formed an investment club and contribute twice a month the same cash we use to hang and drink away all weekends or even the flights we take on thanksgiving /labor day weekend in the name of "tafutaring where the hang are" . In an year, we would have some money to invest in real estate somewhere or even afford a fab vacation for a week in vegas with no money worries.
Well that is just a synopsis of how we behave , more to come when I get syke.....

Monday, August 22, 2005

If I was down would you still have love me?

We all have standards of who we would like to meet for a summer rendevous or even a possible relationship. I'm going to speak of chile's in particular because I'm one of them (go figure) . We all want this guy who has it together , a great job, a good house , the latest car , the latest tech toys etc . When I'm strolling on the street of downtown DC especially during lunch break, I'm always checking out the guys .Usually the guys that catches my attention are the clean cut types, nice suits, well lets say white collar type. If one even acknowleges my presence and attempts to smile or say hi, trust me the adrenaline shoots up, I prolly have this big ol smile and followed by a feeling of "mmm I'm still a great catch" and start imagining what "we" could do together and what kind of a relationship we would have ,breakfast in bed, hair down, sunglasses riding his ferrari, candle light dinner on his yatch etc.

The same scenario, only this time around, it is from one of the "brown" UPS/FeDex guys or even one of those "can you spare a quarter type" and my reaction is completely the opposite. I suddenly frown and even though I will say hi back at him, I 'm already cursing, even to the point of going to the mirror later to see why he even dared to think we could have anything going ,if he were to even try. I even go ahead and see myself in that one bedroom apartment with him , children crying all over the place , strugglin to make ends meet etc. When I think about it though, there are many stories of how most of us women we aim so high for the potential guy,some get "lucky" and get that one when he is up and making it but if he were to lose that job suddenly and he is reduced to wearing the UPS/Fedex uniform or even begging for that quarter, would you stay or suddenly the mad love somehow vanishes?

I know of so many women who will love a guy for what he is careerwise, what he drives etc. Question is? if you like all those things he has ,why don't you get them yourself , it is actually more satifying when you call it yours you anyways please if you are with someone for what they make, drive etc ," la vita รจ piena scossa" Life can shock you when that person's life changes dramatically and loses it all . So be with someone if you really and trully love the person for better or worse not only when they are fun and can provide and when all is gone , your love turns sour, that is inhuman period!

Anyway I'm not saying that you should not have standards, certainly, you deserve the best but choose wisely!

Emotional Cheating-Is it Cheating?

This is the hottest topic of relationship of late. Does emotional cheating exist? When your spouse goes to work , does he have a co-worker whom he bares it all emotionally?Someone they sit with at lunch hour and talk about you and why you are giving your spouse grief even when he has given you all:-). Does your better half have a friend of the opposite sex who they open up to more that he /she would ever open up to you? Do you have a friend who you ran to when you think your mate is not understanding you ? Most people even when they are unwilling to admit there is that someone in your life that you feel so comfortable with that you can tell anything and you feel they understand you all too well and it is usually of the opposit sex. You harbor secret adminration of that person and you wish that your other half would be like him/her. When you have a disagreement with your significant other, that is the person you sneak out and call 911 to air your problem seeking comfort.

Well according to a survery that is emotional cheating and that opens doors to even the danger of sexual encounters. Now question is , how many people believe that is true? that one can cheat emotionally? Like Brad Pitt said in an interview, we were not meant to be with one person for the rest of our lives. Some people raised an eyebrow on that comment but I tend to concur.Why? Because think, even though you are madly in love with someone and you believe they have all the qualities you have been looking for ,there is a percentage of him/her that you do not like and that you see in someone else.

No one can fulfil our needs 100% ,I refuse to believe that. I have a very close friend who I tell anything and everything under the sun( even about that time of the month misery) and if and when I meet my significant other, he will never replace my friend no matter what.This is something he will have to live with knowing that I have such a friend who happen to be a guy who I talk to .I know most guys hate it when their true loves have guy friends and they will question you about it, will hate the friend for absolutely no reason but I think we all cannot have all our needs fulfilled by one person and the more we embrace the better our relationship would be. By the way I'm not advocating infidelity but allow someone to have a friend out there (not for dilly dallying with under the sheets) who they can confide with or talk to because the way I see it, if they have never ended up together romantically ,chances are they prolly will never ever !!

However, there is a difference between someone who has been your friend long before your significant other came along and one who is acquired after the fact. The latter may mean that you both need to work on your relationship, better communication or a certain fire died along the way and needs to be re-ignited. Anyway whether you choose to believe it or not , we all have someone out there we emotionally cheat with, if at all that is cheating...

Thank God summer is over!

I'm not sure whether because it was damn hot this summer or because I thought I was going nuts but something about this summer that I want it to end in a hurry( Ok for the most part I do know why I dread this summer:-(.
Despite that , I'm not sure why I'm never a fan of summer like most people do in the States but the hype that sorrounds it just makes it for the most part boring! The kids being out of school, the adults are hype, the bachelors up and about trying to hook with someone for the summer fling grrhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I just think summer is so overrated. I can't stand the question in the office of where are you going for vacation this summer? what did you do this weekend, the weather was great? Nobody seem to ask when it comes to Winter, maybe I like vacationing in winter, go to Aspen and skii away all weekend and drink hot cocoa in front of a fire place (ok that is not really true until the day I meet my millionaire husband or I become a millionaire myself). Anyway I'm one person who hates doing stuff when everyone is doing them .This is weird I just don't enjoy taking vacations when everyone is , going to the park when all my neighbors are there and especially swimming in the apartment complex swimming pool when all those brats are in the pool. Nothing against the kids in the pool but all that hype just too much.
Well summer is almost over and good riddance, fall cannot come fast enuff!!!