Monday, December 12, 2005

Bitching/Complaining

Women, we have continuously been ridiculed for complaining or airing our dissatisfaction about stuff which men consider trivial and should be overlooked. Well I do not understand why it is that when women express concern or dissatisfaction about something, it is labeled “BITCHING whereas men do the same and it is perceived as “CONSTRUCTIVE COMPLAINING “. I’m guilty as sin for the so called “bitching”.

If I feel dissatisfied about something I say it right there and then and yes I know I can’t change by complaining about it, but there is the satisfaction of letting it known. See, women we are different from men in the sense that, we know how to express our emotions (no wonder we have a longer life span), we say as we feel and do not shy away from expressing our concerns.

In my opinion it is healthy to say what is on ones mind rather than sit gloomy all day and not say anything and then down the road have an outburst. I believe men want to bitch too, they think it only the do not say it.

One of the major complaints by guys about their wives, girlfriends, mother’s sisters, aunties, female colleagues is the so called complaining. The will go on and say” I love my wife or girlfriend, but she bitches too much “ I have been told that by an ex- of mine that I complain too much and yet it seemed like he always shared the opinion about whatever I was complaining about. My question is what do you mean that one complains too much?

Am I not supposed to say it is cold when it is really is? Yeah, yeah, I know I cannot change the weather but there is a certain satisfaction of just saying it just incase it was steaming hot and I was the only one feeling cold :-) . If the food is spicy I ‘m supposed to sit there, burn my tongue out and smile because I’m enjoying the food and not say anything? Should I not say put down the toilet sit, incase I seem to be bitching? Should I come to my boyfi Crib and find crap all over the floor and pretend it is non existent, jump over it and try to squeeze to the part of the couch that has no underwear laying around?.

Well, men say they do not like our bitching yet they keep repeating the same thing we bitch about.? Huh what's that about guys? Guys, let me tell you something, the more you criticize your wifes/Girlfriend/sister, the more she will bitch and the secret to surviving this, just go along with it, infact bitch with her whatever it is even when your opinions are on the other end of the spectrum. There is something nice about a guy agreeing even when he knows that I’m being illogical and just silly.

There at times I just bitch just because ....seriously there those times you just need to let off steam .Those times I ‘m 100% sure I’m doing it for the heck of it, I do not make sense , just plain ignorant at times.One of the guy I went out with for the longest time(7 years) used to say “Irene, I know u are just bitching for the sake of it, you know it so I will let you get off the steam” It is what I like calling a bitch fix:-)
So Fellas let the women bitch if they want to, trust me that is our fix when we are stressed and it is good for the heart. I hate walking with heavy heart when I ‘m concerned about something and cannot say it incase I come across as bitching. So guys instead of critizing your women when they complain, just ignore her , let her do it and trust me you will be better of than I saying “Why do you always bitch.”?.It will also be good for your relationships. Trust me, it is in us to bitch!!

6 comments:

Mignon said...

i hear you totally. i like to bitch...in fact, i don't know any girl who doesn't. if it's not the boyfriend, it's the clad, or school or work or lack of decent men, or the hair, or something! lakini i don't know if male bitching would go down too well. i know a guy who bitches a lot and it's just plain weird and annoying (maybe that's how guys feel when we bitch!)

jke said...

A man, a word.
A woman, a dictionary.

Irena said...

cute-angle: Amen to that ...glad to know I'm not alone in bitching

JKE:-): What can I say to that .....true too though

Poi said...

lols to the bitch fix.

B-abe
I-n
T-otal
C-ontrol
H-ere
so whats so bad about been in control of everything? your hair? clothes? boyfie? girlfriends? work? boss? house? car? just may be almost any/everything, so I say yeah bitch along y'all girls but just don't be a pain with it.

So true about the lifespan coz women get off what's on their chest they live longer than most(coz not all) men who bottle it up! So men you too can do with just a lil bit of it, just talk it out...hehhehe

Great read...

Happy Week :)

Acolyte said...

Why we men do not like this habit of bitching is that a)ties into jke's opinion.say it once that is enuff.Going on all day about it just sucks.
b)bitching never fixed anything!Men will talk about finding a solution,try to implement the solution,if it fails try something else and then they act like the problem isn't there.How many times have you seen dudes try to fix a car and then if they fail completely start chatting as oppossed to women who will begin cursing the mechanic who fixed the car or the Japanese for making a Toyota a certain way.
c)Yes there are men who bitch but they are a minority most of them will take the measures that I have listed above but there are those who don't try anything and bottle things up hence shorter life style.
d)You may enjoy bitching but know it is a total turnoff to men and the more you do it the less your man listens to you.But if you want that in your man then by all means bitch away!
e)@ poi.I just do not see how moaning,whinging and bitching is a show of control.In fact it is the opposite it shows how baseless and shallow you are that you let any simple thing ruin your focus or your day.As oppossed to bitching about it why don't you try to fix the damn problem?But it is still healthy to share as oppossed to overwhelming your man with the problem.Women talk about the problem,men fix the problem.
Anyway good post!

Irena said...

Acolyte: I'm not sure about the men fixing the problems part all the time.At times it is just the fact that they cannot fix it that is the cause of the bitching. Again our bitching is not all that serious the way you have made it appear on your comment and it is not an all day thing as such just to defend our bitching.Again I clarify this, it is a bitch fix:-)))) which on my part does not last even for an hour.....