Thursday, November 10, 2005

A tribute to Auntie Lydiah! -Rest in Peace Forever

It is two years ago since you left me, I never said goodbye, I never lay a wrath on your grave, I have never grieved for you, I have blocked myself from thinking that you are forever gone. I refused accept it till the day I see where they laid you. Why why, at 48 , you were not meant to be the first to go, no you were our rock.My mum and I looked for answers from you. The discipline that you instilled in me has made me get to where I'm and yet I still need to talk to you daily. I want to talk with you about my career, my love life , my sadness, my hopes and dreams but all I can is pretend you are a flight away.

I have written letters not because I can mail them to you in heaven,letters to say what I wanted to say to you. If only you told me on your last letter when you lay in hospital dying that ,that was the last I would hear from you. I would have missed a class,a meal , a shower, stop everything to write to you and tell you , I love you , you will always and forever be loved by me .

I still remember you at the airport when I left. We both locked eyes, you kissed me on the cheeks and we both cried , that was my last cry for you. Today being your anniversary I sit at work , here Iam ,I'm about to lose it, clearly I cannot hold my tears are you watching me right now, I can almost hear your whisper, I can hear your laughter, your beautiful smile . Oh Auntie Lydiah, I miss you like crazy and I don't feel strong anymore, I cannot block my sadness anymore and I will cry till there are no more tears left .

I will let myself cry whenever I miss you and so when I hear and sing this song, I will always cherish you and the many great moments we had together. Sleep in peace and I know I will see you again, I know I will. Thank you Auntie because when I think of your last words "make me proud" I fight to get to the top and for you I will strive till the end to be the best I can be!!

My song to you:

Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above.

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me

Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me
From up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
and that love will live on
And never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

I know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are


Poi said...

Hey Irena, for once hate to be the 1st one here for words fail me, and I search for something to say or write and make you feel better but find not.

I sit in my office and say a prayer for you my dear girl, that you find strength, inner peace, foresight in God. That your tears dry and you smile for now you live it down for auntie Lydia, you are what she put in you, you are what she made you, strive as you always do and stay up there coz tell you what?she's smiling down on you and can see how far you've come and she wants you not to cry.


p.s Thanks for sharing

Nakeel said...

oh girl hope ur tears will dry and u will come to terms with the situation..
U gat to the best because Aunt Lydia is watchibng and will be happy to see your success and pulling far from where she left you..