Monday, January 30, 2006

I need Love

I need love, love
ooh, ease my mind
And I need to find time
someone to call mine;

My mama said
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
But it's a game of give and take
You can't hurry love
No, you'll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes

How many heartaches must I stand
Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
when I feel my strength,
ooh, it's almost gone

I remember mama saidYou can't hurry love
No you'll just have to waitShe said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and takeHow long must I wait
How much more must I takeBefore loneliness
Will cause my heart, heart to break?
No, I cant bear to live my life aloneI grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
Well these precious words keep me hanging on

Courtesy of Phil Collins

But seriously I need love and a Kijana to call my own!!! I'm getting tired of being single...but alas where to get a good one? Although, over the weekend I was given the advice that I'm too stringent with my requirements, so I should lower my standards .........Huh ?

What is wrong with wanting a non-traditional man who will not expect a bakuri of hot water and a towel as I kneel down and wash his hand to eat that Ugali which I toiled cooking for him after I got home. Mind you, this is after sitting on the traffic jam for 1hr? ...and then, come bed time I 'm expected to "Roll over and give him some sugar"-) and 1 minutes later, he rolls over and sleeps like a baby while I'm still wondering what the heck was that?

What is wrong with wanting a man who I can be myself with even when I ride a bike with him in the park even when it is not so African to do as a woman ?

What is wrong with wanting a man I can sit next to while him and his kijana buddies talk politics or Golf even and I actually has some points of my own in the discussion? What is wrong with wanting a man who we can talk for hours and hours about anything under the sun without being looked at as I talk too much.

What is wrong with wanting a man who will not question my dressing style when we go to a party and not call it "that is too sexy, you are a married woman now, need to dress like a married woman.....:-)".

What is wrong with wanting a man who once in a while will cook and do laundry without making a big deal out of it after all, he loves me and this is an act of love right?

What is wrong with wanting man whose idea of fun is not drinking all weekend but likes adventure such as hiking, driving aimlessly just enjoying the earth and its magnificent sites.

What is wrong with wanting a man who actually enjoys being physically fit and looking good just as he expects me to look like Janet Jackson ?


Is that too much to ask of a potential mate ? If it is, then I'm doomed.

21 comments:

jke said...

Irene, you better stop dreaming and get yourself a Playstation® or so. It's cheaper + comes with a button to switch it off :-)

Seriously, pole about that request. I am sure there are some good ones. Maybe you've been looking for them in the wrong places? But then, I think you're better off being alone than sticking with not such a good dude.

Aterere, I know deep down in your heart you are dreaming of this old fat man with a funny looking farmers hat and an old pick-up. Yep, those ones that will take you out to some Kikuyu-Inns during the weekend and order mbuzi & lots of beer. Ama? :-)

Irena said...

Okay Jke..you have had me cracking up like a nonsense, ati Kikuyu inn with Mbuzi and beer listening to Mugithi:-))). Yeah a play station is ideal , with the current rate of bad luck in finding a potential mate, I tell ya that is not such a far fetched idea or maybe I need to move to ujerumani, do you think there is better luck out there?:-) .At times I feel like I'm in the wrong continent.

Irena said...

Jke:BTW any recommendation on the right places to look. I need guidance seriouly:-)

jke said...

>any recommendation on the right places to look.<

http://meetme.hotornot.com/keyword/intelligent+men

Sijui....Craigslist?

Irena said...

Ati Craiglist:-))))))

Whispering Inn said...

The questions were rhetorical, right? Hehe!
Now my advice on love is..eeh... C'mon, who am I kidding? I cannot give you advice, I can only hit on you! Seriously!
All kidding aside, you'll find someone, you're a beautiful, intelligent woman! Just keep your chin up.

Guessaurus said...

LOL @" while I'm still wondering what the heck was that?" that threw me way on the floor Irena.

On a serious note, you find this rare being when you least expect it - I, like you have always been told I have quite high expectations, but you know what, dont give up hope - this elusive beings will suprise you - only one will do I suppose, but they do do!

Any tips from me - You are gorgeous, intelligent, independent woman -there is a gorgeous, intelligent, caring man out there looking for same, and with time the mountain and mohammed will meet half way...

Poi said...

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting what you want and in the way you want.

I agree with Phil Collins' mama you can't hurry love you gotta wait for it to come. In waiting Irena it comes coz tell you what?(and you already know) we attract what we are, so you and all your 'high' expectations as they call them will still get one of your kind. All the best!

Have a lovely week!

Instigator said...

Get yourself a puppy!He will worship the ground that you walk on and hang on your every word!Lakini kairetu you have not told us where you have been looking and you have not told us how high your standards are.
Yes I am a man and that is how I think.While all the gals here boost your ego I ask the hard questions!How many men have you dated so far?Do you want the complete product or do you have the patience to knock off the rough edges and polish him?If you find one willing to change for you are you going to change for him?
Also ladies you will not find good men in clubs and bars.You will find men but not the good ones those ones are not in the bar every Wednesday and Friday,Saturday night.Join some club where an activity that you like is done and you may find someone there.Anyway gotta go.....

Irena said...

Whisperinn: You can't give me advice? How mean! You can't hit on me at a distance plus if I charged forward,am sure that would be a different story (wink! wink!).

Guess: Welcome back to my blog, long time... yep what the heck was that happens:-) Lakini I stopped believing along those lines of the prince will come and rescue me myth..seriously obviously those qualities you and Whis are talking about (thanks for thinking of me that way) are not working..ohhh something gotta give!

Poi: You attrat what you are but eisshhh sometime I attract what I'm not and do not want ...mmmh know what I'm talkin about:-).

Insitgator:Ahsante and hard question are most welcome . You asked me where I have been looking. My answer to that is I do not go out specifically on a hunting spree really and I do not hang out as I used to; so bars or clubs are not where I frequent searching per se. I go about my business doing what I love to do and hopefully in doing it I will meet someone and yes with KBW free advertisement that is .
possible :-)
Question no.2: Do I want the complete product? Of course that would be the ideal situation but I will allow a margin of error on individual if they do not completely fit the profile but I can only take a few detours no? Would I change , yes I would a few only if he is absolutely worth it!.

Question 3: How many men have I dated? Mmmh that is a tough one, do you mean seriously dating or just kusaidiana type of dating?:-))) I have serioulsy dated twice in my life time , one lasted 7 yrs and the other 2 years and the next one will be forever hopefully (wink)! Hope I have answered your questions fully :-))

Irena said...

Instigator:On my standards, I will leave that out for now

akiey5 said...

I've mentioned this somewhere online before but my thoughts about it haven't changed:

Lowering ones standards only lowers someone's happiness.
Stick to your 'program' & only welcome someone with whom you rhyme on atleast 3/4 of what you consider the spice of life. That's someone you'll grow grey-haired with, someone who'll be there for you when your eyesight fails you, when he can hardly hear right without you shouting in his ears, etc, LOL!

Anyway, jokes aside..unlike some KBWs I've known you since you barely legal & your standards havent changed. There is some guy out there asking the same Qs as you & your paths are about cross.
Keep your eyes & heart open & when you do meet him let him know he was running late:)

I know for a fact that love comes your way when you least expect it...at times when you're on the verge of giving up on it.

Guessaurus said...

I kinda go through Nchi yetu and I think you removed your link there (or something, I dont know)

You dont need a prince to rescue you (at least I hope thats what you meant) just someone you click on some level and meets your expectations. There are no perfect people out there, but your idea of perfection (or degree thereof) is what you should expect and get. And as Akiey said, lowering your standards will only make you miserable if those undesirable traits cannot be overlooked in the long run.

Good luck Irena.

@Aco - NO we dont go looking for men in pubs in clubs and pubs (at least I didnt) but you never know where you might get 'lucky' LOL

gishungwa said...

There is absolutely no problem let me know when you do get him them maybe we can make copies of him and i will have one gladly. after all is said and done all the best in your search hope that you do find him.

Charlie said...

There is 1 problem if you say this to a guy or any one the good one will not come our way but if you lower and be your real self then you will get some guy that is your dream, from there on life depends on how you treat him or her if you are rude or start acting in a funny way you will start getting bored with each other mapema. I believe if you meet with some one and you be your real self your love will last forever.
Dont be desperate for a guy if you want someone one nice. Although hata sisi majamaa hatujui lakufanya sababu there are like 15 girls for each one of us tunshindwa kuchagua pia sisi tupigeni ma advice

Prousette said...

Ever heard of people saying 'she is not the woman I married?" Because they lower their standards and there is just so much bending backwards you can take before your true self comes stomping out.
So do not lower your standards, patience pays very well.
As for where they are found. They just might be under your nose but you are not looking.

Charlie said...

guess you got the wrong idea,
what i ment was guys tend to pretend what they are not and as time passes by they realize they made a mistake, what happens? break up, have seen a couple of people in that situation. i.e I pretend to be of a class that am not when we can no longer live in that standard what happens. wish u luck "fall in love for love and not because you want to"

Irena said...

@Gishungwa: I surely hope so or I might end up getting a play station as JKE suggested:-)
@Prousette: I'm planning to be patient for as long as it takes even when I start wrinkling:-)
@Charlie:Oh do not mistake my entry as anything but real. Oh this is the real me and I do not dream of the man I want to be with hence why I do not have one because I keep it real and do not go for a guy just for the fun of it or to be seen I have one and trust desperate is not what I'm either. There are many guys out there interested as I write but do I go for them,no, coz I know what I'm looking for. Now, do not misunderstand, I never ever tell the guys I meet or date what exctly I want lest they out up a show, I watch and make decisions based on that. Also, I do not see anything wrong with wanting to love and of course on falls in love naturally not forced love and love comes in different dimensions not necesarily the convention way. I have been in love once before so I knwo when and when I'm not in love.
About class, not quiet sure what you mean about that but thanks for the good wishes anyhow

Joseph Walking said...

Am sure He is on the way . however!!!however!! my concern is all the guys i know who have semaed vows and said i do .all tell me to be happy am single now that is really making me wonder whats up with that

Irena said...

Joe: He better be on the way. By the way that is so true , married people are always letting us know how lucky we are that we are not married. What's up with that.Is marriage such a terrible thing?

Charlie said...

Hey if thats your true self well stay that way i beilieve there is some one good out there 4u, who will love u for u.
True we learn big from married guys,. its healthy 4 us who are we learn 4rm them