Be careful of woman who loves the Bar Scene..:-)))

I'm about to go for happy hour and now I read this in NATION. Ha! ha! he has just aroused my curiosity on what to expect when I visit the Kenyan bar scene.It seems that the "chaser and the chased" modus operandi has changed over the years. This will really be fun to see"Live in action" as opposed to reading it. I have a very technical imagination, I'm already in Nai and I'm cracking up here just imagining a chile approaching a kijana and using this lame line.. ati "Hi handsome , you look like 50cent , lets get to know each other".....LOL,LMAO!!!

"Beware of the woman who loves the bar " BY Oyunga Pala -Nation

http://www.nationmedia.com/dailynation/nmgcontententry.asp?category_id=1&newsid=63563

Ati"They have no ability to discriminate. That you are male and you have a pulse is all that matters. These have a way of getting to you, before you get to them. Some say it's a psychic ability but I say it's pure lust. That's what alcohol does to people. These are the days when women believe in scoring, so unless you want to be a one night-stand candidate, put on a less revealing T-shirt. It's okay to admit that some of us lack skills in these matters and boys shouldn't be embarrassed about it. You are better off swallowing your pride and using the services of a go-between to avoid these psycho women"
.
He he..ati psychic ability ....ha!ha!What does he mean these days women believe in scoring ..Haiya, this has been in place long time ago...:-))

LMAO ....Ati"These days, you find boys trying to look like characters in popular music videos, and hoping the girls will pick out the resemblance. Seriously, do these guys expect that some pretty face would walk up to them and say, 'Hi handsome! You look like 50 cents. Let's get to know each other better?' Men are having a hard time meeting women these days because of such lame tactics"

LMAO

With this kind of comic scenery, I need to be in Nairobi to be entertained .This is much better than a Karaoke bar:-)) . Na kweli I have been away from Nairobi social scene for long. The happy hours here are boring compared to what I'm reading here


"Men have become such vicarious attention seekers it's embarrassing. It is as though overnight, the script was flipped and women became the visual creatures while men were forced to parade around like peacocks- this used to be the preserve of women. That is why I feel obliged to tell all those young men who think they know it all, to sit up straight and listen to some valuable advise. Don't chase women, don't be a jock. You mustn't take female expectations very seriously because they are rarely stimulated by logic. Sex appeal is 20 per cent what you've got, and 80 per cent what girls think you've got! How else do those short, plump, short types get to walk in the company of gorgeous models?:

What does he mean do not take women expectation seriously because they are not stimulated by logic" Haiya what bars is he making this observation, Karumaindo , princess (is that bar still around, that was a ka joint from KU -CARNI stopover..)..wewe I'm not sure who these women are who are not stimulated by logic....well that depends though what the interest one has withe the prey:-)

When women say they desire a strong man, someone who can offer security, they do not exactly mean you have to aspire to be a bouncer.

LOL......................

Well I had so much fun reading this..entertaining!

Brother

B ehaves like a maniac when grown-ups aren’t watching

R ampages most when you want to be quiet!

O rders you around as if you were his servant

T hinks endlessly of fresh ways to torment you

H ates above everything to hear you admired

E ats with loud noises simply to irritate

R esorts to being charming only as the last desperate bribe

ABOVE ALL I LOVE YOU TO DEATH.....SEE YOU SOON!!!

Too Friendly for your Own Demise!

You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to tell you it'll all work out alright

Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away
Don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away


But any fool can see you're fooling yourself
But you ain't fooling me

So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away


But hoping you could be strong
But could you look at me straight
Tell me what else can I do but say I was wrong?

So don't let him steal your heart away
No, don't let him steal your heart away


You were lonely and you needed a friend
And he was there at the right time with the right smile
Just a shoulder to lean on
Someone to say don't you worry it'll all be alright
But he's no good for you
He'll make you think your whole life's been leading to this
And whatever you do
Think about me, oh, and don't be fooled by his kiss

AGE OF EMPIRE

I’m not much of a computer game freak but this is one game that got me hooked since 2002!!. Age of Empire .This is one of Microsoft best selling computer game which involves war and strategy. It is an epic with a life span of 100,000 years, in which the player goes through creating an empire with evolution from dark ages to Imperial age of tribes to great empires.
The player can from different ways to win the game, including: world domination by conquering enemy civilizations, exploration of the known world and economic victory through the accumulation of wealth. You can choose from very easy, easy, hard to hardest. The graphics are excellent. Your enemies can attack you and finish you any minute so you got to be on the watch, have strong wall protecting your empire, castles and watch towers to watch your enemy. If you are playing against more than one individual then you have to make sure that all corners of your empire are under surveillance . At the same time,you have to build your army(strong army ), collect wood, gold,stone and continue to upgrade your institutions..in other words, it is just like running your country; alot of delegation to the ministry of defense , education, agriculture , human resources, religious instititution and general wananchi but not like the Kibaki government, (the ministers in the game are not unruly:-)
…
The game by 2004 had sold 15 million copies. It is an amazing game and again the quick thinking and a great strategy skill is the key. I usually play against the computer or when a friend comes over we network our laptops and play but it is so intense, there are times we go till wee hours of morning. I’m so hooked to it and it is another fix on those stressful days. I cannot believe I like it more than watching T.V!!!/. Age of empire is one of those things that make me go mmmmmmmmhhh…
although today I saw something else that made go double mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhhhh:-)

Finally -Intelligent Analysis on RAILA & CO.

"Were the 2.5 million voters for the new constitution or the five million that did not vote, not people? Is it logical for Mr Odinga to equate 3.5 million that said No to the new constitution to the only people in a population of 32 million?" by Koigi Wamwere
You can read the rest on
http://www.nationmedia.com/dailynation/nmgcontententry.asp?category_id=25&newsid=63333

Finally someone has voice of reason on all the madness that is gripping Kenya especially from political bickers who have nothing to show since they were elected in office.They have spent our tax payers money trying to achieve their power hungry agendas and to think that ordinary mwananchi thinks they will be better leaders? Who are these Kenyans who are more interested in a snap election than the milk and bread they put on their children's dinner table. Wamwere has said it better than anyone
"Mr Odinga also says the President is not in touch with the people. I find it difficult to believe that just because the people are freer to tear their President to shreds every morning, or because his side lost in a referendum, then the President is not in touch with the people".

If this is not a step ahead from what we were 5 years ago I dunno what is.Would Raila be standing free to say anything to a president or would he be in Nyayo house basement.?

The economy is steering in the right direction (5% growth),more jobs are being created, investors were beginning to restore their confidence on our economy and Kibaki has lost touch with the Wananchi? Kibaki may not be aggressive, he may not have fulfilled all his NARC promises but darn it, it has only been 3 years.! Was he supposed to fulfill all that with a cabinet full of unruly group.? Were they not part of this government they stand to condemn. I 'm pissed and the hell I'm ...because leaders like Raila do not understand time is money..the more he continues his pursuit, his quest to be the next President with whatever means , the more HIV is spreading , the more wananchi are dying of hunger in his home area Nyanza, North Eastern Kenya, Muranga and all the corners of the republic, the more youth turn to drugs and crime for lack of jobs.Is this the Kenya Raila wants in the name of a referendum? So it became a popularity contest, was it what it was? why didn't he tell wananchi that and maybe just maybe all those who didn't vote , would have come out in droves!!!. The constitution is going nowhere, resume the talks and move on . Why can't Kenyans realise that dirty politics hinder economic growth and the main thing right now is to reverse the economy so that we can be a healthy nation!!!!

Poleni I had to let this out of my chest!!!

Preserving Culture & Traditions

To Mozart aka Amadeus -) : Thanks for reminding me to remember who I'm and never apologize for it.






First of let me start by saying, I'm a Kikuyu, I 'm not ashamed of it, I do not condone tribalism and I respect other Kenyan tribes.

While chatting with a pal of mine the other day, he asked a question as to why Kikuyu are often seen as tribalistic because of trying to keep alive their culture and traditions. By speaking their language(although sometimes they can be insensitive when a non Kikuyu speaker is around), keeping up with their customs and holding dear what is Kikuyu. I didn't have a good answer to that question but for a person who has been studying the Kikuyu culture and Kenya in general, I bet he had some answers of his own.

My pal challenged me on how much of a kikuyu I'm and I was ashamed to admit not a good one. I have tend to forget the customs and values that are what made Kikuyu's who they are. Honestly I think Kikuyu have been misunderstood and the following is a synopis courtesy of www.bluegecko.org. It is when reading this that I realized most what Kikuyu are was ingrained many many years ago and has in most part not related to the accusations and stereotypes that have been flying the radar.



Early History: the migration south from Nyambene
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The ancestors of the Kikuyu can be said with some certainty to have come from the north, from the region of the Nyambene Hills to the northeast of Mount Kenya (Kirinyaga), which was the original if not exclusive homeland of all of central Kenya's Bantu-speaking peoples, viz. the Meru, Embu, Chuka, Kamba and possibly Mbeere. The people are believed to have arrived in the hills as early as the 1200s.
From where they came, though, is a matter subject to a lot of controversy (ie. speculation based on few facts): one theory argues that they came from the mythical 'Shungwaya', presumably in Somalia, from which the nine tribes of the coastal Mijikenda also say they came. The other main theory posits that they came from the west, having split from the proto-Bantu of central Africa.


Whatever their early origins, it is generally accepted that starting from around the 1500s, the ancestors of the Kikuyu, Meru (including the Igembe and Tigania), Kamba, Embu and Chuka, began moving south into the richer foothills of Mount Kenya. By the early 1600s, they were concentrated at Ithanga, 80km southeast of the mountain's peaks at the confluence of the Thika and Sagana rivers.
As Ithanga's population increased, oral traditions of all the tribes agree that the people began to fan out in different directions, eventually becoming the separate and independent tribes that exist today. The theory that the Chuka, Embu, Mbeere, Gicugu and Ndia 'broke away' from the main Kikuyu group before arriving at Ithanga is plausible, but is contradicted by the oral traditions of various tribes, many of which include Ithanga in their histories.
The Kikuyu themselves moved west to a place near present-day Murang'a, from where the Kikuyu creation myth picks up the story.


Creation myth - Mukurue wa Gathanga

The actual point at which the Kikuyu became a separate and independent people with their own and unique sense of identity is fairly clearly stated in oral tradition, which says that the founder of the Kikuyu was a man named Gikuyu.
One day, Ngai (god) gave him a wife called Mumbi, and commanded them to build a homestead near Murang'a, to the southwest of Kirinyaga (Mount Kenya). Some versions of the myth say that Ngai first took Gikuyu to the top of Kirinyaga to behold the land that he was giving them.
The place that Gikuyu and Mumbi settled in was full of wild fig trees (sacred among many Kenyan peoples, not just Bantu), and was called Mukurue wa Gathanga, which loosely translated means 'Tree of the Building Site', and even more loosely 'the Kikuyu Garden of Eden'. The location is still sacred, even though the fig tree - which was believed to have been as old as the Kikuyu themselves - disappeared a few decades ago.
Mumbi bore nine daughters, who married and had families, and which eventually became clans. Ngai gave them the highly fertile lands to the southwest of the mountain to live in. These clans - the true ancestors of the Kikuyu - are actually called the 'full nine' or 'nine fully' (kenda muiyuru), for there also was a tenth daughter, who descended from an unmarried mother in one of the other nine clans (which suggests the later amalgamation of at least one other people into the Kikuyu). Until recently, it was a common taboo for anyone to give the exact number of their children; violating the taboo - any taboo - would portend a bad omen.
Virtually every Kikuyu woman is named after one of the 'nine' daughters of Mumbi, and the creation myth - like many others among Bantu-speaking people - suggests that ancient Kikuyu society was originally matriarchal. According to some, the men grew tired of their treatment by the women and rebelled.
This myth was used in a Mau Mau resistance song during the fight for independence. See the lyrics of Mukurwe wa Nyagathanga in the Music and Dance section.




Consolidation and Expansion
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As can be guessed from the above, the early history of the Kikuyu is certainly not simple, and things become further complicated for historians and anthropologists with the inevitable intermarriage and interaction that occurred (and still occurs) between the various tribes and groups that had parted ways at Ithanga, and which continued as the Kikuyu spread out from Mukurue wa Gathanga to cover their present terrain.
The Kikuyu have always been happy to adapt and to adopt, and, in terms of territorial expansion, were by far the most successful of the groups that had originally migrated south from the Nyambene Hills, relying on a combination of land purchases, blood-brotherhood (partnerships), intermarriage with other people, and their adoption and absorption. Only occasionally did warfare figure in this expansion, such as in the early 1800s when a combined Kikuyu, Maasai and Athi force defeated (annihilated?) the hunter-gathering Gumba (or Agumba), a people which one Kikuyu legend refers to as pygmies.


The original inhabitants of Kikuyu-land, it is said, were the Thagicu, who practised iron-working, herded cattle and sheep and goats, and hunted. The similarity in name between Thagicu and Gikuyu would suggest that they were in fact the Kikuyu's earliest known ancestors, if not their primary lineage. They may indeed have been the 'tenth' of the 'fully nine' clans, though I admit that that is merely speculation. Sources differ on the ethnic identity of the Thagicu - some say they were Bantu-speaking, others that they came from Cushitic peoples.
As the land was fertile and ideally suited to agriculture, the population increased rapidly, causing further waves of migration which lasted until the eighteenth century: west into the Aberdares (Nyandarua Mountains), south to the present site of Nairobi, and north to the Nyeri plains and the Laikipia Plateau, where the Kikuyu came into contact with the cattle-herding Maasai (who were evicted from the area by the British early in the twentieth century). Unusually in contacts with the Maasai, the Kikuyu were neither conquered nor assimilated by them, but instead engaged in trade (as well as sporadic cattle raiding), which led to a deep and long-lasting social interaction which especially affected the Kikuyu. During the Maasai civil wars at the end of the nineteenth century, hundreds of Maasai refugees were taken in and adopted by the Kikuyu, particularly those in Kiambu.
In consequence, Nilotic social traits such as circumcision clitoridectomy and the age-set system, were adopted; the taboo against eating fish was also accepted; and people intermarried, so much so that more than half of the Kikuyu of some districts are believed to have Maasai blood in their veins (including Jomo Kenyatta himself, whose paternal grandmother was Maasai). From other peoples came loanwords for ceremonial dances, plants and animals, and the concept of irrigation as an agricultural technique.


Although the Kikuyu were a formidable fighting force, the agricultural nature of their lives meant that violence was generally only used for defence, for they lacked the mobility of pastoralists such as the Maasai and Samburu, who lived to the north and west.
Geographically, the Kikuyu were relatively well protected, with the Ngong Hills so the south, the Nyandarua Mountains to the west, and Mount Kenya to the northeast. To the east, also, were the related Meru, Embu and Kamba people, with whom relations were generally friendly, replying as they did on their trade with the Kikuyu. Defence was thus a primary concern only in the west, where the Kikuyu were wary of settling or venturing out onto open plains for fear of the Maasai, who were interested in controlling the widest possible areas for their herds.
Greater defence was necessary only close to the Maasai border, with the result that villages there were in effect forts and were built for maximum protection. Generally, only those family groups (mbari) with "many warrior sons" or which had attracted a clientele of fighting followers could muster the defence necessary to settle these new areas. These villages were also well concealed: Europeans found they could be walking only metres from a settlement without knowing of its existence.




Trade
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Economically, the Kikuyu were blessed with some of the most fertile land in Kenya, their 'work ethic', and their willingness to adapt and adopt to new situations. This made them ideally suited as traders, so much so that the majority of Kenyan businesses today are run by Kikuyu.
Having settled in an environment ideal for agricultural pursuits, the Kikuyu exploited it to the full, producing food far in excess of what they needed to feed themselves. This was in stark contrast to the Embu, Mbeere, Chuka, Kamba and the hunter-gathering Okiek (Ndorobo), whose lands were far less fertile, and were prone to drought and famine. At those times, when trade became a necessity for their survival, it was to the Kikuyu that they turned. In return for supplying food, the Kikuyu received all manner of goods, ranging from skins, medicine and ironwork from the Mbeere, livestock and tobacco from the Embu, and salt and manufactured trade goods brought up from the coast by the Kamba, with whom the Kikuyu had their most important trading relationship. Trade also occurred with the Maasai, who may well have introduced elements of cattle culture to the Kikuyu. Even as the men were engaged in raiding each other's livestock, Kikuyu women continued to trade with Maasai women.
Local markets proliferated in populated areas, as they do today. Women transported barter goods in caravans and were generally safe under the protection of middlemen (hinga), who represented the group with whom they intended to trade. By the nineteenth century, the Kikuyu had become so adept at trade that they became involved in supplying the Swahili ivory and slave trade with food, eventually - as the Kamba trade declined - usurping the role of the Kamba as intermediaries between the coast and the hinterland.

Prayer for Peace in Kenya!!!!!

Someday, when we are wiser
When the world's older
When we have learned
I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and let live

Someday, life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
Godspeed, this bright millenia
On it's way, let it come someday

Someday our fight will be won, and
We'll stand in the sun, in
That bright afternoon
'Til then, on days when the sun
Is gone, we'll hang on
If we wish upon the moon

There are some days, dark and bitter
Seems we haven't got a prayer
But a prayer for something better
Is the one thing we all share

Someday, when we are wiser
When the whole world is older
When we have love
And I pray someday we may yet
Live to live and one day, someday
Someday life will be fairer
Need will be rarer
And greed will not pay
Godspeed this bright millenia

Let it come
If we wish upon the moon
One day, someday....soon

SONG BY CELTIC WOMAN................

Bitching/Complaining

Women, we have continuously been ridiculed for complaining or airing our dissatisfaction about stuff which men consider trivial and should be overlooked. Well I do not understand why it is that when women express concern or dissatisfaction about something, it is labeled “BITCHING whereas men do the same and it is perceived as “CONSTRUCTIVE COMPLAINING “. I’m guilty as sin for the so called “bitching”.

If I feel dissatisfied about something I say it right there and then and yes I know I can’t change by complaining about it, but there is the satisfaction of letting it known. See, women we are different from men in the sense that, we know how to express our emotions (no wonder we have a longer life span), we say as we feel and do not shy away from expressing our concerns.

In my opinion it is healthy to say what is on ones mind rather than sit gloomy all day and not say anything and then down the road have an outburst. I believe men want to bitch too, they think it only the do not say it.

One of the major complaints by guys about their wives, girlfriends, mother’s sisters, aunties, female colleagues is the so called complaining. The will go on and say” I love my wife or girlfriend, but she bitches too much “ I have been told that by an ex- of mine that I complain too much and yet it seemed like he always shared the opinion about whatever I was complaining about. My question is what do you mean that one complains too much?

Am I not supposed to say it is cold when it is really is? Yeah, yeah, I know I cannot change the weather but there is a certain satisfaction of just saying it just incase it was steaming hot and I was the only one feeling cold :-) . If the food is spicy I ‘m supposed to sit there, burn my tongue out and smile because I’m enjoying the food and not say anything? Should I not say put down the toilet sit, incase I seem to be bitching? Should I come to my boyfi Crib and find crap all over the floor and pretend it is non existent, jump over it and try to squeeze to the part of the couch that has no underwear laying around?.

Well, men say they do not like our bitching yet they keep repeating the same thing we bitch about.? Huh what's that about guys? Guys, let me tell you something, the more you criticize your wifes/Girlfriend/sister, the more she will bitch and the secret to surviving this, just go along with it, infact bitch with her whatever it is even when your opinions are on the other end of the spectrum. There is something nice about a guy agreeing even when he knows that I’m being illogical and just silly.

There at times I just bitch just because ....seriously there those times you just need to let off steam .Those times I ‘m 100% sure I’m doing it for the heck of it, I do not make sense , just plain ignorant at times.One of the guy I went out with for the longest time(7 years) used to say “Irene, I know u are just bitching for the sake of it, you know it so I will let you get off the steam” It is what I like calling a bitch fix:-)
So Fellas let the women bitch if they want to, trust me that is our fix when we are stressed and it is good for the heart. I hate walking with heavy heart when I ‘m concerned about something and cannot say it incase I come across as bitching. So guys instead of critizing your women when they complain, just ignore her , let her do it and trust me you will be better of than I saying “Why do you always bitch.”?.It will also be good for your relationships. Trust me, it is in us to bitch!!

Saddam or Mel :-)

Saddam ? Mel Gibson?..........

Bold and Bald

Yeah there comes a time in a woman's life when enuff is enuff!! I shaved it off in May 2005 and yes I was bald totally. It was bold move I tell ya and at first I was not sure I would withstand the stares, the assumption(yes in my town,sex orientation is hot topic because after San Fran, we are second in same sex whatever_).It was an exhale moment ..yeah I had been waiting to exhale for a while .

It was awesome to walk in the shower and let the warm water flow on my scalp and walk out without worrying about a blow drier or a hot comb. There has been a mixed reaction from both men and women. The women loved it interestingly,some men mostly White adored it but our Nyeuthi brothers eeeish it was those of.... "damn girl why?Yeah! that was suprising that our brothers do not appreciate natural beauty, they would rather see me in horse hair or poodle hair:-) or wherever the synthetic /human hair is made of.
Nway this was not done to "make a statement" kinda of a thing.

It was a medical condition ...a scalp inflamation caused by a bacteria which affect the hair root causing stagnation and cutting the hair around it. At first I blamed it on hair grease/lotions and then came shampoo I changed from Suave, head &shoulders, Nizoral name it..., then cursed on my West African hair dresser for braiding my hair too tight.

Finally I researched on the net and you will not imagine how many women suffer from this condition.I found forums after forums of women sufferers of scalp inflammation and other conditions such as Alopecia. It is real and very apparent with the Blac women. So, as much as I hate Wigs, weaves etc, I now do know why some women opt for them because not all can be bold to go bald!

It is December, I'm still nursing my condition with medication which has costed me $400.00 so far Damn!!!! that is a one way trip to Germany:-).Thank God for Insurance. One tube of medicated foam costs $150 but insurance pays much of that.

The treatment is meant to go on for 10 months to see any improvement. Well, I can see the improvement now and can't wait to braid my hair again and have my ponytail back!!!!
Oh the Balding me!

Told a deep hidden Secret

Today I told someone a deep secret. Dunno why I did it and what the consequences will be.Will that person look at me the same way ? Sometimes sina brakes for real! Sometime I trust too easily or get gullible. At the time I didn't think twice but now, not sure how that was perceived or........ Ngai Mwathani!!!

REST IN PEACE... .......YOU LIVED YOUR LIFE WELL!!!

YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART FOREVER AND EVER ..AMEN

When life as opening buds is sweet,
And golden hopes the fancy greet,
And Youth prepares his joys to meet,--
Alas! how hard it is to die!
When just is seized some valued prize,
And duties press, and tender ties
Forbid the soul from earth to rise,--
How awful then it is to die!

When, one by one, those ties are torn,
And friend from friend is snatched forlorn,
And man is left alone to mourn,--
Ah then, how easy 'tis to die!

When faith is firm, and conscience clear,
And words of peace the spirit cheer,
And visioned glories half appear,--
'Tis joy, 'tis triumph then to die.

When trembling limbs refuse their weight,
And films, slow gathering, dim the sight,
And clouds obscure the mental light,--
'Tis nature's precious boon to die.

Abuse in Kenya

I know this is a provocative topic but we need a little controversy once in a while. When we are abroad, we hear it all the time, sexual abuse on minors, boys and girls equally. In Kenya it happens but no one talks about it, even in the families that it happens, it is a hush, hush thing but wait a minute, no, rarely do the victims report it.

Sexual abuse on a minor is usually by an uncle, a houseboy, a cousin or even a brother and I would not exclude the fathers, yes this is provocative I know and no I do not watch too much T.V or talk shows. I have heard horror stories of such in our country but in our Kenyan society that is a taboo and should not be brought to light or talked about. I understand this has to do with tribal customs but on this day and age, I think some things need to be talked about.

Some of the girls end up being impregnated by the tender age of 13.This is when the villagers get shocked, for not only do these innocent girls have no boyfriends, there are always at home and yet everyone is buffled as to “how did that happen?”.

I know this girl who was the quietest girl in a certain place, always withdrawn and of course the other kids had a field day with her .When I went to visit that place, she was never even allowed to play with me because the father was very strict. It was while visiting one day that in the middle of the night, the father came asking for a ride to the hospital because the daughter was very sick. Few hours later, she had a baby, she did a very good job of hiding the pregnancy for nine months and as usual everyone was shocked and wait, three years later, the story came out, she had been abused repeatedly and yes by a relative, oh yes, and the minute she would mention to her mother and father about this, they always told her she was trouble maker and crazy hence her withdrawn personality. Well this past year, the girl committed suicide.

Trust me, this is no fiction and it is because of this that I write because I feel bad that no one listened to her and it haunted her for all these years because no one would believe or listen to her. She left a note and named her relative abuser, the father of her child, her uncle, her father’s brother who lived in the same compound. Well the family of course denied the accusations but word is the child looks exactly like the girl’s uncle. Coincidence or strong genes from her father or the uncle ?

When you think about it, numerous girls or even boys goes through this while growing up but since this is not something that is openly discussed in families let alone in the larger community, then the kids move on with life. But, is life really the same for an abused child, do they perform and excel in school like the other kids or are they the students that has to be pushed through school and in case of Kenyan education they have to repeat a grade over and over. Maybe, just maybe, these are kids we made fun of in school, these are kids we called daft and shoved around. This is the girl who would wet her panties and we would make fun of all year around .Sometimes, the teachers for lack of knowing any better would join in, even punish this kid to the joy and mockery of other kids, kinda like when Jesus was being mocked by the Roman soldiers. Did anyone ever wonder why there were such kids in school who behaved this way? Was it because they were slow or something happened at home and with no one to tell developed a “weird” personality.


I can hear it, the lament of the parents that they have done everything to push this child to excel, the blame has flown from the teacher to teacher, school to school, and yet, no one understand why the child is either withdrawn, hostile,have a don’t care attitude or the bully in school. I’m no psychologist but I know and acknowledge that sexual abuse is rampant in Kenya and especially in rural areas because the environment is more conducive and the “children are to be seen not heard” attitude is still very much embraced .

Maybe there are others who are abused and come accustomed to it and became part of life but many years later, the effect of abuse has slowly manifested itself their married life, the way they treat their children, their outlook of life etc?

A girl or a boy child who is abused and keeps mum psychological adjust from the trauma adopting a certain behavior to cope. I do not know about now and I’m not in Kenya to judge the situation and I cannot tell whether this stuff is talked about but in 70s ,80s,the 90s parents rarely talked about such issues and talking of which, Moi even banned usiniharakishe because it was too lacey for T.V back way in the 80s:-) (Down memory lane).

My thinking is, we all talk about developing Kenya but for us to develop we have to develop socially, we have to open up and talk about such provocative issues, we have to stop hiding and talk behind the curtains. They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste, true, education come in all dimensions and to me, a beautiful mind is a healthy mind.

If we expect the future generation to carry our country to even greater heights ,then lets stop, lets talk about it all, Aids, Rape , Abuse and challenge ourselves to be better a country, a country that develops in all directions. I know this is a challenge because as I write this, there many, many families whose heads are just floating above the water, who are lucky if they can have a meal a day and with all those frustration of life, the last thing they want to hear is an accusation of sex abuse let alone talk about it and also the shame that is involved in such a dialogue.

Anyway, it is happening and it has happened to many young kids and hopefully one day these little voices will be listened to andso that they can and develop to be the shining stars of their villages, towns and the country. Again, a beautiful mind is a Healthy mind!

Thank You my fellow Kenyans in the Republic!!!

This is a short blog for my appreciation for the maturity that Kenyans have potrayed during the Referendum Elections. It was with much admiration that Kenyans again have proven to the world that our Nation is made of individuals who value peace above everything else! I have been reading the Western Media insinuation that the likelihood for riots and disorder were about 90%.I never doubted Kenyans would conduct themselves in a peaceful manner and to the Naysayers, we are a different breed of Africans and we are level headed nation ,so stop hatin! It does not matter whether NO or YES wins ,what matters that we are a people who agree to disagree and I hope we will respect what has been decided by the people, move on and continue to build our nation ! I'M PROUD TO BE A KENYAN AND KENYA JUU !!!

Being married or wanting to be married or not wanting!

I’m like every other person, I have the desire to get married someday and live happily ever after but eissh the way married people make marriage look like , I ‘m awfully scared of it. I know I do not want to be alone for sure but the marriage thing is just scary. I ‘m not sure where this kind of a vibe is coming from at my age (See I'm of the marriage age in the Western world, but in African World, oh oh I’m a late bloomer and will die a spinster.) I can imagine my mum and grandma must be thinking that there is something wrong with me . Infact, one of my mum’s friend has accused my acquired education as the cause of my not meeting a marriage partner,She has said to me once “githomo kiu giaku nikio kiratuma wage muthuri:_) meaning that my academic pursuit is all to be blamed because according to her, men do not like a woman who is so educated (whatever that means.. really).

I have been told many a times that I’m a threat to men because "I know way too much in my academic achievement and the ways of the world:-)" , talk too much and engage in some stuff that are only reserved for men, in other words I’m a smart ass and I'm not what is considered in African sense "manageable woman" or docile . Mmmhh I will not go into that further but if someone is scared of my smart assnessness , then keep walking !

Nway I have acquitances and friends who are married and lately when I talk to each one of them , they keep giving me these vibes that marriage is the worst thing that has ever happened since Hiroshima. I'm yet to meet someone who is happy that they are married and would do it all over again. Married people are always talking about their spouses as these villains that they are forced to live with . The daily complaints of "Oh he/she did this, I can’t do this or that coz wifey will kill me, oh wifey did this, husband is home can’t talk "etc. I just do not get it but maybe would not since I have never been married, I have been close to it though Yikes!

Some of my married friends have even adviced me to not consider marriage. Why are married people always miserable about it? I thought when you are married to someone you loved that much to want to spend the rest of your life with, you should be the happiest or if not happiest just happy about the whole deal. What happens? Most people say that people change when they get married but is it a 360 degree turn? or why all over sudden someone becomes this stranger/monster to you to the point of not standing the person. I can see how someone has to adjust to accommodate another human being in their lifestyle but don’t people go into marriage knowing this or at least expecting to see all the changes.

I can understand if you courtship lasted a short period but aren’t there some red flags along the way between meeting – dating- engagement – marriage that should be a warning that this is who the person is and will not change so if you do not like it now ,you will not like it then ? or it is the hope of changing the person after the fact theory

Some people go into it thinking you can perform miracles and change someone. For some women ,they think if you cook nice meals after all the way to a man’s heart is the stomach, yeah right! Will change him to a saint , keep cooking I say !, he will only eat and get fat :-) but if you do not try to understand the reason underlying why he is who he is and acts the way he does then you are outta luck! If you marry a certain guy because you are running against some clock, you need financial security, you are afraid to grow old alone, then chances are you might overlook some stuff about the guy /woman you are getting married to only to get haunted by those red flags ten years down the line.

Don’t people hold honest dialogue about what they are getting into. For instance, if your mate to be has a bad breath, and you hate it , you better tell him/her that you cannot live with it the rest of your life and he/she has to find a way to make you comfortable around that breath, see a doctor, get some surgery or buy some mint supply to last a lifetime:-) or be prepared to live with it but if you cannot live with it at all, you might consider another option. If you sex is not up to per while dating be honest about it and get some Kamasutra lessons so that you will not go looking for it elsewhere or use that as an excuse for walking out of a marriage or staying miserable in it.

Folks have to be honest about everything ( well I would leave the number of people one has slept alone while being honest:-) before they get married and yes pre-marriage counseling (I do not believe in those) is good but both individuals have to be as honest as they can be, no pretence. Do not wait till 5 years later to come out of your pretence closet and surprise someone thinking that subsequently, all will be well.

Why marry someone who you know is not really the kind you would have wanted to marry only to divorce them 5 years later dragging some innocent children down with you?

So, when I make that choice to get married , I will lay down the cards on the table, and will let the person know what I can or cannot live with period!.

That is why I’m not in a hurry to jump the broom and that is why when I date someone I keep it real from day one , no surprises down the line., if he decides to pop the question they will have experienced my anger, joy, my mess or cleanliness, my eating habits, my gossip self at times, the critic in me,my sometimes arrogant, egoistic self, my childishness, my sexual needs, in other words I do not hold back incase I chase him away..way of thinking. He will know what he is getting into:-)
So my mama and cucu have to understand when I get in it,it is for good and plan to be happy in it! and nothing else will do however long I have to wait .

So to all married folks and those anticipating to be, stop hating on marriage or making it look like you are going to some hell or you are in some hell. If you don’t like being married walk out or shut up and make it work ,after all, you made the bed ,so lay on it!!!

A tribute to Auntie Lydiah! -Rest in Peace Forever

It is two years ago since you left me, I never said goodbye, I never lay a wrath on your grave, I have never grieved for you, I have blocked myself from thinking that you are forever gone. I refused accept it till the day I see where they laid you. Why why, at 48 , you were not meant to be the first to go, no you were our rock.My mum and I looked for answers from you. The discipline that you instilled in me has made me get to where I'm and yet I still need to talk to you daily. I want to talk with you about my career, my love life , my sadness, my hopes and dreams but all I can is pretend you are a flight away.

I have written letters not because I can mail them to you in heaven,letters to say what I wanted to say to you. If only you told me on your last letter when you lay in hospital dying that ,that was the last I would hear from you. I would have missed a class,a meal , a shower, stop everything to write to you and tell you , I love you , you will always and forever be loved by me .

I still remember you at the airport when I left. We both locked eyes, you kissed me on the cheeks and we both cried , that was my last cry for you. Today being your anniversary I sit at work , here Iam ,I'm about to lose it, clearly I cannot hold my tears are you watching me right now, I can almost hear your whisper, I can hear your laughter, your beautiful smile . Oh Auntie Lydiah, I miss you like crazy and I don't feel strong anymore, I cannot block my sadness anymore and I will cry till there are no more tears left .

I will let myself cry whenever I miss you and so when I hear and sing this song, I will always cherish you and the many great moments we had together. Sleep in peace and I know I will see you again, I know I will. Thank you Auntie because when I think of your last words "make me proud" I fight to get to the top and for you I will strive till the end to be the best I can be!!

My song to you:


Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above.


Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me
From up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
and that love will live on
And never leave


Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

I know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

Tergat,Paul

I was watching New York Marathon and at the same time trying to keep tabs of Tiger Woods Birdies and boogies over the weekend but must say the Marathon won over golf(yes I'm boring like that).I love sports -watching some of them that is. Anyway that is besides the point. New York Marathon was held on Sunday Nov 6,2005 and it is considered one of the best Marathon event in the world. The New Yokers knows how to make a fuss about this day, too bad P diddy, Diddy ,Sean Combs or whatever he calls himself these days didn't participate this time around:-)

Of all the Kenyan Marathoners, I think Paul tergat is the most graceful and charismatic of all. Many have come, won a marathon or two and fizzled out but this man is as strong as ever. I watched as he held strong from his opponent from SA and even after he run through the victory tape, when his opponent had for a second there looked like he had passed out or was it the disbelieve that he could not shake him off:-), Paul looked calm and he had this awesome smile of victory and man, that was just impressive and bravo to him for making us proud once again!!!

I'm very business minded person and I see how much he is worth. Watching Paul Tergat in the largest Stock Exchange Market (NYSE) was impressive and I confess I have not seen many Kenyan faces in NYSE apart from those who work there(are there?) but then I thought does he know he can be among the movers and shakers of this world with his acquired Celebrity self! A nobody does not just walk in to NYSE as a guest.This honor is bestowed to who and who of this world and I hope he realized that. I was proud to see that image of Paul. Anyway he is on the right track of using his celebrity status apart from buying plots and plots of land , he has a book out "Paul Tergat- Running to the limit". I'm sure it won't be on the list of Oprah must read but that is a start.

I have always been critical of our Marathon runners and why they have not exploited their "celebrity stature" to cash in apart from going to the extreme of changing their citizenship to make the buck. I feel there are many areas that have been left unexploited by these runners. They need to market themselves as a product or a service for that matter. Advertising is one way but that is to the discretion of the product owner and how much they want their product associated with a certain figure . How about some sort of sports clinics, talk shows, motivational speaking, etc. If I were their manager I would approach every talk show in town especially the Marathon week to have for instance Paul as a guest, talk about himself and in doing so pitch for his book free of charge on the show. I know many people who would buy it after watching the show - yes Americans tends to be gullible like that:-)

Seriouly, I would have the runner take some public speaking lessons(Toast Master classes maybe) so that he/she can speak articulately and woo the advertisers with eloquent speech(hoping they won't say ,he speaks so well:-) , charisma and confidence. I would have the runner appear in as many functions and be out there when not in training to create the buzz if you may .

Anyway as they say "the more you know" the more ......:-) because our athletes are being exploited by the so called foreign managers who have landed in rift valley and recruited these young men. Where are the entreprenuer Kenyans who up until now have let foreigner take charge of our products?. If you watched Jerry Maguire and the art of an athlete agent/manager, then image, image image!!!To make the deal you need an image,yes the skills are important but image sells.The so called agent are so much snoozing in this arena with our athletes.

So as long as Kenyan Marathoner do not look at their sport as a business then they will continue defecting and blaming the government for forgetting them but the government cannot soley take the blame. Why should it? The minister of sports should not take the blame solely as well. I also blame the wananchi in general, Why? we have not even acknowledged our own as world celebrities, our Upcoming "hip hop 50cents wannabes" are more embraced than a real talent which is unique to our dear country; those who have had our flag fly high in many corners of the world. Or is it that the the marathoners are not cool enough ? I see Rugby and Cricket (have they ever won gold for Kenya ?) more embraced than the marathoners if you ask me but again who is asking?. If we embraced the marathoners and make a "fuss" about them and make it cool, then the government would pay more attention and the world would definitely make a fuss outta of our Marathoners, don't Y'all think?
I may be wrong though because it seems after all these years , when Standard introduced the Nairobi Marathon and a few celebrity were "Camera caught" it has become "cool" but don't we ever forget who have made it cool ater all!

Genghis Khan

My current read is "Genghis Khan and the making of modern World". For those who do not know who he is , Genghis Khan was a Mongolian military leader who united different tribal groups in Mongolia into one of the very succesful Kingdom and one of the most successful military leader known to man. He conquered vast area ad created mega Kingdom which lasted for 150 years. As I read along what strikes me more is his accomplishment in conquering his enemies from medieval Europe, Mesopotamia and other kingdoms and uniting those he conquered under his leadership . He is accredited for creating international trade (they didn't teach me that in my International Business Class) and Mongolians are accredited for creating the first international Paper Money.Through his conquest he intermingled cultures and way of doing different things from medicine to clothing, although even today there are critics who still won't accredit him for that.

What strike me more is the similarities in the culture of tribes in Mongolia and those of some Kenyan tribes beliefs and practices. For instance, the Mongols believed in Wife inheritance(the luo and luhya practices), their belief that God inhabit in nature especially the mountains(Kikuyu beliefs), their pastoralism way of life and inter tribal warfare between tribes stealing women and property(Kikuyu and Masaai Warfare) paying dowry /gift to the father of the bride.However after his young bride was stolen , he abolished that practice and sworn that no woman would be sold into marriage but throung diplomacy. Anyway it is amazing to read and relate to a culture of tribes miles and miles away.

As for Genghis his military tactics was amazing, the well trained cavalries, archers, their endurance to harsh climate and the use of spies and scouts to report the location of the enemies .He used divide and conquer tactics using benevolence toward those who sided with them and terror and bloodshed against those who did not. He is known to have been the greatest influential leader to be matched only by Napolean and Alexander the great .Anyway still reading the pages through,..to be continued..........................

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney.

Surprisingly, this behavior is prevalent with adolescent but in our society it has extended to blogging world. Who woulda thought it.

So here is something about cliques
A clique is an exclusive social group formed between a few people who share a common interest. Cliques are informal social groups, while formal social groups are known as a society or organization. Cliques are most popularly known in high schools and colleges, and are formed usually by girls.:-))

Cliques can be complex and sophisticated, and can vary very much from one to another. However, there are common features which can be found in many cliques. Two of them are the Queen bee and the Outcast (common terms in Girl Cliques).
Queen bee
The Queen bee is the clique member who has 'emerged' as the leader of the clique. With looks, charisma and the power of manipulation, the leader of a clique reigns supreme over other members and has substantial influence and power on the entire group.
Usually envied and looked upon as a role model by the other clique members, the queen bee's actions are closely followed and imitated, even though the actions of the queen bee may not be positive.
Individuals that the queen bee dislikes can be targeted and become outcasts; clique members may emulate the queen bee by victimizing the new outcast in order to continue to 'fit in'.
Though the leaders of cliques may appear to be in complete control, there is a consistent power struggle among all cliques. The leader of a clique may change from time to time due to a member (or non-member) exceeding the "queen bee"'s abilities and thus attracting followers of the old clique leader. Other outside influences may also act upon the social structure of the clique (such as changing interests or increasing maturity among clique members).
Outcast
The Outcast is one targeted by the clique members, facing potentially physical and psychological attacks The outcast may be humiliated, set up, intimidated and even ostracized. There is little sympathy from witnesses to stand up and defend the outcast, for fear of falling out with the queen bee, being rejected and potentially being the next target.
The effect of the damage on an outcast is usually psychological, though examples of physical violence and harm caused by a clique have occurred. Being shunned and left out, the outcast may face isolation which can result in depression and psychological trauma; these effects may exhibit later in life in conditions such as anti-social behavior. Outcasts may have difficulty seeking help from an adult, as psychological damage can be hard to prove.
Clique behavior, when harmful or hurtful (either emotionally or physically) to others is often considered another form of bullying.
Arguments for and against cliques
Cliques can be fun and enjoyable, as members are regularly involved in social and recreation activities such as going out together. Clique members can also forge closer friendships, as they get to socialise more often. Some doctors think that cliques can help with the sense of belonging and the social skills of a child as they grow older.
On the other hand, cliques may influence members, through strong peer pressure, to start behavior perceived as bad by others, such as smoking or drug abuse. Problems involving cliques may also be a source of distraction from studies, and this is especially true for outcasts who may feel dejected and tormented. People who are ostracized from cliques can react in a number of ways -- they can lose hope in life, or rally and make a point of becoming showing up their tormentor. In the near term, they may decide to start a prank war. Arguments have been made that cliques have been responsible for tragedies like the Columbine High School massacre.

Winnie Mazidikela Mandela -Where are you?

I miss you Winnie where are you?

What became of you Winnie Mandela, one mistake and you were banished by most. The cameras that seemed to follow you everywhere prior to 1992 have all disappeared. You graced pages of many a Magazine but now not even a positive newspaper story. What happened to you? As a young woman I loved you, I admired your courage , your tenacity , your bravery and your strong will to see a free Mandela and South Africa. You were arrested for what you believed in, you were emotionally abused by the apartheid system , you were banished away from your Matrimonial home to some shanty town. All in the name of a free SA and Mandela

Your beauty captured my eyes, your charisma not to forget your feisty self. Oh why would the world ignore you now, where did you go? I thought I would forever see you in the limelight, using the Media that captured every moment of your fight to champion causes. Instead next to your husband, I see another woman, not because she does not deserve to be there but I would have loved to be you.

I see your husband holding another woman who I’m not sure back then fought for his freedom the way you did. You kept his name alive, you cried tears for him, you used yourself as a human shield from those Afrikaans Cops and now for a mistake that you made in the name of fighting for freedom has made your name to be forgotten. Yes, you probably succumbed to temptation, but who would not? You were only human and if tables were turned, who is to say he could not have not done some things to punish the snitchers who were a road block to ANC and Freedom. You were just trying to do the right thing but made a poor judgment on Stompie and it was wrong and now everyone remembers you just for the Mistake that you made. Most have not acknowledged the role you played in fighting - the unspoken Hero. The one who mobilised the youth , the youth that called you "mama" .The unruly youth that led De Klerk to acknowledge that it was time for change. Yet here we are today, no one sings your praises , nobody notices you have gone AWOL. I research new story of you, a book, a newspaper article and a "by the way" sentence but nothing about you. Did you disappear out of shame or because no one wants to stand side by side with you?
We all make mistakes ,some deadly ones but where is the compassion for the once called 'Mama " for the brave Winnie who endured it all. Why has the world turned a blind eye and not want to see you again. Is it just me who feels strongly about you?

Your ex- husband, didn’t he leave his first wife for you? Didn’t he abandon his first wife because fighting for freedom took the first priority? So what made him judge you harshly like that? You brought up decent children all by yourself with all the hardships and arrests. He speaks fondly of these children in his biography but it is because of your strength that they became. Yes, you two may have grown out of love, but shouldn’t he have waited for limelight to die before divorcing you? Or it was politically risky for him to continue being your husband if only for a little bit longer?

I weep for you Winnie, I miss you and I hope to see you again.Oh Winnie, I long the day I see you again in a cover of a Magazine, in some T.V show like Oprah (I wonder why she cannot invite you to her show), on Dateline with Stone Phillips maybe…..anywhere .It was and is because of you, I believe in the oppressed, the poor, the banished, the unfortunate. You gave me courage that one can fight hard to overcome roadblocks to reach one's goals. It was you I admired with your African Attire, the beauty, the classy look that made you truly the African Queen and I emulate it every way I can. You fashionably wore the mother land attire with such poise that made me proud to wear something African which is beautiful and as superior as the Western attire. The way you carried yourself with dignity and Poise forever lingers in my mind. I miss you Winnie!