A tribute to Auntie Lydiah! -Rest in Peace Forever

It is two years ago since you left me, I never said goodbye, I never lay a wrath on your grave, I have never grieved for you, I have blocked myself from thinking that you are forever gone. I refused accept it till the day I see where they laid you. Why why, at 48 , you were not meant to be the first to go, no you were our rock.My mum and I looked for answers from you. The discipline that you instilled in me has made me get to where I'm and yet I still need to talk to you daily. I want to talk with you about my career, my love life , my sadness, my hopes and dreams but all I can is pretend you are a flight away.

I have written letters not because I can mail them to you in heaven,letters to say what I wanted to say to you. If only you told me on your last letter when you lay in hospital dying that ,that was the last I would hear from you. I would have missed a class,a meal , a shower, stop everything to write to you and tell you , I love you , you will always and forever be loved by me .

I still remember you at the airport when I left. We both locked eyes, you kissed me on the cheeks and we both cried , that was my last cry for you. Today being your anniversary I sit at work , here Iam ,I'm about to lose it, clearly I cannot hold my tears are you watching me right now, I can almost hear your whisper, I can hear your laughter, your beautiful smile . Oh Auntie Lydiah, I miss you like crazy and I don't feel strong anymore, I cannot block my sadness anymore and I will cry till there are no more tears left .

I will let myself cry whenever I miss you and so when I hear and sing this song, I will always cherish you and the many great moments we had together. Sleep in peace and I know I will see you again, I know I will. Thank you Auntie because when I think of your last words "make me proud" I fight to get to the top and for you I will strive till the end to be the best I can be!!

My song to you:


Who can say for certain
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are mine
Forever love
And you are watching over me
From up above.


Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

Cause you are mine
Forever love
Watching me
From up above

And I believe
That angels breathe
and that love will live on
And never leave


Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile
If only for a while
To know you’re there
A breath away's not far to where you are.

I know you're there
A breath away's not far to where you are

Tergat,Paul

I was watching New York Marathon and at the same time trying to keep tabs of Tiger Woods Birdies and boogies over the weekend but must say the Marathon won over golf(yes I'm boring like that).I love sports -watching some of them that is. Anyway that is besides the point. New York Marathon was held on Sunday Nov 6,2005 and it is considered one of the best Marathon event in the world. The New Yokers knows how to make a fuss about this day, too bad P diddy, Diddy ,Sean Combs or whatever he calls himself these days didn't participate this time around:-)

Of all the Kenyan Marathoners, I think Paul tergat is the most graceful and charismatic of all. Many have come, won a marathon or two and fizzled out but this man is as strong as ever. I watched as he held strong from his opponent from SA and even after he run through the victory tape, when his opponent had for a second there looked like he had passed out or was it the disbelieve that he could not shake him off:-), Paul looked calm and he had this awesome smile of victory and man, that was just impressive and bravo to him for making us proud once again!!!

I'm very business minded person and I see how much he is worth. Watching Paul Tergat in the largest Stock Exchange Market (NYSE) was impressive and I confess I have not seen many Kenyan faces in NYSE apart from those who work there(are there?) but then I thought does he know he can be among the movers and shakers of this world with his acquired Celebrity self! A nobody does not just walk in to NYSE as a guest.This honor is bestowed to who and who of this world and I hope he realized that. I was proud to see that image of Paul. Anyway he is on the right track of using his celebrity status apart from buying plots and plots of land , he has a book out "Paul Tergat- Running to the limit". I'm sure it won't be on the list of Oprah must read but that is a start.

I have always been critical of our Marathon runners and why they have not exploited their "celebrity stature" to cash in apart from going to the extreme of changing their citizenship to make the buck. I feel there are many areas that have been left unexploited by these runners. They need to market themselves as a product or a service for that matter. Advertising is one way but that is to the discretion of the product owner and how much they want their product associated with a certain figure . How about some sort of sports clinics, talk shows, motivational speaking, etc. If I were their manager I would approach every talk show in town especially the Marathon week to have for instance Paul as a guest, talk about himself and in doing so pitch for his book free of charge on the show. I know many people who would buy it after watching the show - yes Americans tends to be gullible like that:-)

Seriouly, I would have the runner take some public speaking lessons(Toast Master classes maybe) so that he/she can speak articulately and woo the advertisers with eloquent speech(hoping they won't say ,he speaks so well:-) , charisma and confidence. I would have the runner appear in as many functions and be out there when not in training to create the buzz if you may .

Anyway as they say "the more you know" the more ......:-) because our athletes are being exploited by the so called foreign managers who have landed in rift valley and recruited these young men. Where are the entreprenuer Kenyans who up until now have let foreigner take charge of our products?. If you watched Jerry Maguire and the art of an athlete agent/manager, then image, image image!!!To make the deal you need an image,yes the skills are important but image sells.The so called agent are so much snoozing in this arena with our athletes.

So as long as Kenyan Marathoner do not look at their sport as a business then they will continue defecting and blaming the government for forgetting them but the government cannot soley take the blame. Why should it? The minister of sports should not take the blame solely as well. I also blame the wananchi in general, Why? we have not even acknowledged our own as world celebrities, our Upcoming "hip hop 50cents wannabes" are more embraced than a real talent which is unique to our dear country; those who have had our flag fly high in many corners of the world. Or is it that the the marathoners are not cool enough ? I see Rugby and Cricket (have they ever won gold for Kenya ?) more embraced than the marathoners if you ask me but again who is asking?. If we embraced the marathoners and make a "fuss" about them and make it cool, then the government would pay more attention and the world would definitely make a fuss outta of our Marathoners, don't Y'all think?
I may be wrong though because it seems after all these years , when Standard introduced the Nairobi Marathon and a few celebrity were "Camera caught" it has become "cool" but don't we ever forget who have made it cool ater all!

Genghis Khan

My current read is "Genghis Khan and the making of modern World". For those who do not know who he is , Genghis Khan was a Mongolian military leader who united different tribal groups in Mongolia into one of the very succesful Kingdom and one of the most successful military leader known to man. He conquered vast area ad created mega Kingdom which lasted for 150 years. As I read along what strikes me more is his accomplishment in conquering his enemies from medieval Europe, Mesopotamia and other kingdoms and uniting those he conquered under his leadership . He is accredited for creating international trade (they didn't teach me that in my International Business Class) and Mongolians are accredited for creating the first international Paper Money.Through his conquest he intermingled cultures and way of doing different things from medicine to clothing, although even today there are critics who still won't accredit him for that.

What strike me more is the similarities in the culture of tribes in Mongolia and those of some Kenyan tribes beliefs and practices. For instance, the Mongols believed in Wife inheritance(the luo and luhya practices), their belief that God inhabit in nature especially the mountains(Kikuyu beliefs), their pastoralism way of life and inter tribal warfare between tribes stealing women and property(Kikuyu and Masaai Warfare) paying dowry /gift to the father of the bride.However after his young bride was stolen , he abolished that practice and sworn that no woman would be sold into marriage but throung diplomacy. Anyway it is amazing to read and relate to a culture of tribes miles and miles away.

As for Genghis his military tactics was amazing, the well trained cavalries, archers, their endurance to harsh climate and the use of spies and scouts to report the location of the enemies .He used divide and conquer tactics using benevolence toward those who sided with them and terror and bloodshed against those who did not. He is known to have been the greatest influential leader to be matched only by Napolean and Alexander the great .Anyway still reading the pages through,..to be continued..........................

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney.

Surprisingly, this behavior is prevalent with adolescent but in our society it has extended to blogging world. Who woulda thought it.

So here is something about cliques
A clique is an exclusive social group formed between a few people who share a common interest. Cliques are informal social groups, while formal social groups are known as a society or organization. Cliques are most popularly known in high schools and colleges, and are formed usually by girls.:-))

Cliques can be complex and sophisticated, and can vary very much from one to another. However, there are common features which can be found in many cliques. Two of them are the Queen bee and the Outcast (common terms in Girl Cliques).
Queen bee
The Queen bee is the clique member who has 'emerged' as the leader of the clique. With looks, charisma and the power of manipulation, the leader of a clique reigns supreme over other members and has substantial influence and power on the entire group.
Usually envied and looked upon as a role model by the other clique members, the queen bee's actions are closely followed and imitated, even though the actions of the queen bee may not be positive.
Individuals that the queen bee dislikes can be targeted and become outcasts; clique members may emulate the queen bee by victimizing the new outcast in order to continue to 'fit in'.
Though the leaders of cliques may appear to be in complete control, there is a consistent power struggle among all cliques. The leader of a clique may change from time to time due to a member (or non-member) exceeding the "queen bee"'s abilities and thus attracting followers of the old clique leader. Other outside influences may also act upon the social structure of the clique (such as changing interests or increasing maturity among clique members).
Outcast
The Outcast is one targeted by the clique members, facing potentially physical and psychological attacks The outcast may be humiliated, set up, intimidated and even ostracized. There is little sympathy from witnesses to stand up and defend the outcast, for fear of falling out with the queen bee, being rejected and potentially being the next target.
The effect of the damage on an outcast is usually psychological, though examples of physical violence and harm caused by a clique have occurred. Being shunned and left out, the outcast may face isolation which can result in depression and psychological trauma; these effects may exhibit later in life in conditions such as anti-social behavior. Outcasts may have difficulty seeking help from an adult, as psychological damage can be hard to prove.
Clique behavior, when harmful or hurtful (either emotionally or physically) to others is often considered another form of bullying.
Arguments for and against cliques
Cliques can be fun and enjoyable, as members are regularly involved in social and recreation activities such as going out together. Clique members can also forge closer friendships, as they get to socialise more often. Some doctors think that cliques can help with the sense of belonging and the social skills of a child as they grow older.
On the other hand, cliques may influence members, through strong peer pressure, to start behavior perceived as bad by others, such as smoking or drug abuse. Problems involving cliques may also be a source of distraction from studies, and this is especially true for outcasts who may feel dejected and tormented. People who are ostracized from cliques can react in a number of ways -- they can lose hope in life, or rally and make a point of becoming showing up their tormentor. In the near term, they may decide to start a prank war. Arguments have been made that cliques have been responsible for tragedies like the Columbine High School massacre.

Winnie Mazidikela Mandela -Where are you?

I miss you Winnie where are you?

What became of you Winnie Mandela, one mistake and you were banished by most. The cameras that seemed to follow you everywhere prior to 1992 have all disappeared. You graced pages of many a Magazine but now not even a positive newspaper story. What happened to you? As a young woman I loved you, I admired your courage , your tenacity , your bravery and your strong will to see a free Mandela and South Africa. You were arrested for what you believed in, you were emotionally abused by the apartheid system , you were banished away from your Matrimonial home to some shanty town. All in the name of a free SA and Mandela

Your beauty captured my eyes, your charisma not to forget your feisty self. Oh why would the world ignore you now, where did you go? I thought I would forever see you in the limelight, using the Media that captured every moment of your fight to champion causes. Instead next to your husband, I see another woman, not because she does not deserve to be there but I would have loved to be you.

I see your husband holding another woman who I’m not sure back then fought for his freedom the way you did. You kept his name alive, you cried tears for him, you used yourself as a human shield from those Afrikaans Cops and now for a mistake that you made in the name of fighting for freedom has made your name to be forgotten. Yes, you probably succumbed to temptation, but who would not? You were only human and if tables were turned, who is to say he could not have not done some things to punish the snitchers who were a road block to ANC and Freedom. You were just trying to do the right thing but made a poor judgment on Stompie and it was wrong and now everyone remembers you just for the Mistake that you made. Most have not acknowledged the role you played in fighting - the unspoken Hero. The one who mobilised the youth , the youth that called you "mama" .The unruly youth that led De Klerk to acknowledge that it was time for change. Yet here we are today, no one sings your praises , nobody notices you have gone AWOL. I research new story of you, a book, a newspaper article and a "by the way" sentence but nothing about you. Did you disappear out of shame or because no one wants to stand side by side with you?
We all make mistakes ,some deadly ones but where is the compassion for the once called 'Mama " for the brave Winnie who endured it all. Why has the world turned a blind eye and not want to see you again. Is it just me who feels strongly about you?

Your ex- husband, didn’t he leave his first wife for you? Didn’t he abandon his first wife because fighting for freedom took the first priority? So what made him judge you harshly like that? You brought up decent children all by yourself with all the hardships and arrests. He speaks fondly of these children in his biography but it is because of your strength that they became. Yes, you two may have grown out of love, but shouldn’t he have waited for limelight to die before divorcing you? Or it was politically risky for him to continue being your husband if only for a little bit longer?

I weep for you Winnie, I miss you and I hope to see you again.Oh Winnie, I long the day I see you again in a cover of a Magazine, in some T.V show like Oprah (I wonder why she cannot invite you to her show), on Dateline with Stone Phillips maybe…..anywhere .It was and is because of you, I believe in the oppressed, the poor, the banished, the unfortunate. You gave me courage that one can fight hard to overcome roadblocks to reach one's goals. It was you I admired with your African Attire, the beauty, the classy look that made you truly the African Queen and I emulate it every way I can. You fashionably wore the mother land attire with such poise that made me proud to wear something African which is beautiful and as superior as the Western attire. The way you carried yourself with dignity and Poise forever lingers in my mind. I miss you Winnie!

Watu

People that I have to share the world with but do not care much about

Liars – I cannot stand liars, I cannot stand people who lie to benefit themselves while in the process hurting others. It is even worse if I can see through the lie and the person who is lying assumes you are too dumb not to see through it.

Attention Seekers – I know a few people who will do anything to get attention from people, they are louder than anyone in the room, and they will go out of their way to do something to gain recognition. Such individuals the way I see it are weak and by wanting approvals from other is the only way they can feel strong and to those I say –Snap out of it!

Followers – Some people will do anything just because others are doing it. They are good at maiming /aping and whether whatever they are aping is good for them or no but they will do it just to fit in. How desperate can one be, to do something coz it is being done and deep down you know it is not good for you is beyond me. -That is Stupid Period!!!

Nosy – I cannot stand nosy people. If I do not look like I want to tell you about me, what I’m ,what I do ,who I’m screwing etc. Why the hell are you being nosy for? Some people have no shame they try to dig and find out who you are and once you fall for it and let them know, they run around kissing and telling - The rumour Mill Tribe.

Ass kissers – I cannot stand ass kissers and in this I mean the only person's ass I kiss sorta is my boss's because he holds my rent money, my mechanic's, he can screw up my carburetor, my hair dresser's, she can give me a bad hair cut, my dad and mum's, brother's, I still try to borrow money of them even now, so I kiss ass big time there. Other than that, an ordinary man or woman who does not fall into the above category, Please, YOU WISH!!. I think groupies fall into this category? I have lots of pride to stoop that low

Pretenders – Sometimes pretenders can fall into nosy category. These are individual who put a class act and behave in a certain way and deep down they know for fact they do not mean what they say but just want to put you “on” for the sake of it. What a waste of energy!

Finally all those who dismiss others, alienate others because they themselves think they are better or are the chosen few. Just because someone does not hail from your village or does not speak the same language as you do does not mean they are worthless, you might be surprised what you find if you took the time!!!!

Le Tue Parole - Your words

Another one of my favorite song, sang in Italian though .....By Andrea Bocelli (Romanza Album)


Where the sun goes die,
where the wind rest
there are all the words
of those who have been in love
and have not forgotten
all that there has been.
And I shall wait for the sunset
some time the wind must pass
I shall let myself be caried
where the words were born.
I shall look for your words
I want to bring them back to you.
It is not right that a woman
for fear of making mistake
cannot fall in love
and has to content herself
with a story which is always the same
of a life dreamed.


Where the sun goes to die
where the wind rests
I have met many people
who , in the sea of words
and amid utter confusion
still hope for love
it is not right that a woman
for fear of making mistake
cannot fall in love
and has to content herself
with a story which is always the same
of a life forgotten
and has to content herself
with a story which is always the same
of a life to be forgotten

:-((

Life's Lesson

Life is B@#

Have you ever sat down and wondered what the hell is wrong with you. Have you ever woke up feeling worthless, feeling like your life is stagnant and you do not why that is or what to do about it. You did all they told you to do. You obeyed all the rule of life as laid down by your parents and society in general. There are times one feels like something is wrong somewhere, feel like life is cutting you a raw deal. When you looked around you see some people who didn’t try that much but have it all. Are some people just lucky or they are working over time to score in life than you. Interestingly, but it is true, there are times I look around and see someone who has defied all the societal rules but he/she seems to be scoring goals left and right while I’m shooting blanks. You almost wonder what is it they do have, do they have extra pound of brains than you do or why their stuff are going on so well and yours seems to be frozen in time. Life can be a b@#### as they say.

Social Etiquette & Business Acumen

Sometimes I feel that our Kenyan society does not teach us all about life and even in most families no one gives us life’s most important lesson apart from go to school, get the Grade A and off you go to campus and you will be rich and happy ever after. They neglect to tell us some secret of success such self confidence. I seriously think Kenyan schools should have “Success Acumen” 101. In this class one would be taught how to speak loudly and clearly (yes I’m soft spoken at work and this has not done me justice.), how to walk with confidence, how to hold a conversation and argue intelligently without resulting to insults and brawls (well with the example of our politicians on that .. I dunno), how to eat in public (that is important) and even how to handle stress.

This lesson I think should also be introduced to all the politicians, businessmen and women too especially if they are going to represent themselves or Kenya in an international environment. Trust me how you hold yourself socially can make or break a deal and that is true! So having 3 degrees flying high may be cool but lack of some important social etiquette might leave you high and dry. Have you ever noted that how many Kenya books smarts we have in Diaspora , some work for the high and mighty,fortune 500 Companies but they are still stuck in low level management? I think in order for Kenyans to compete successfully , we need to style up with our social etiquette, we need to polish that grammar, we need to speak like we have it (yes that is why Nigerians gets head hata kama we are so quick to bash them ), we need to know that kila siku siyo Githeri, go out explore other dishes so that when you go to that corporate cocktail or Christmas , you won’t be dashing away from the sushi or that Turkey Boilo)))) . Learn how to hold a wine glass siyo kushika like you are holding a bottle of kenbrew and many more examples I can give.

I have had a chance to meet even some of our Politicians when they visit U.S and I cannot imagine that they are the chosen ones to represent us in major meetings with dignitaries while their social etiquette is so appalling wallahi! Social grace can make you ride high and score that big contract or climb that corporate ladder faster than we think. We are in a global community and to compete successful we need to take some of these things in consideration.

It is good to know only what is Kenyan but at times perusing through other cultures can be beneficial too. Never know where they might send you when you work for one of the Multinationals or when your business goes global!!!

Loveliest love song ever written!

When You Say You Love Me - By Josh Groban

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly I’m falling
Lost in a dream
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting
You say those words, my heart stops beating
I wonder what it means

What could it be that comes over me
At times I can’t move
At times I can hardly breathe
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and

When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive
You’re the one I’ve always thought of
I don’t know how, but I feel sheltered in your love
You’re where I belong
And when you’re with me, if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between the heavens and earth
Frozen in time
Oh, when you say those words
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there’s no one else alive

And this journey that we’re on
How far we’ve come and I
Celebrate every moment
And when you say you love me
That’s all you have to say
I’ll always feel this way
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment, I know why I’m alive
When you say you love me
When you say you love me
Do you know how I love you?

Revolutionize Women and S.....

I'm in the mood for a provocative topic,so excuse Wanjiru ;-)

Should women have sex like men?
To me I say... hell yeah! and why not . How many times have I heard women who are my friends, colleagues at work and other females talk of how they met this great person,dated, he is not all that but just wants to sleep with him .When they sleep with the dude and perhaps the dude just disappears and starts acting up because he could tell you were not all that into him , why do we get mad and rave like a wounded lioness in jungle of Africa? You really didn't want anything with the guy right? So why put emotions in it. Why then get pissed off when the guy takes off after hittin it?Why can't we women have sex with no feeling attached to it. Even when women knowingly and just wanted a one night stand we still put some emotions in it and hate the person afterwards if they never ever call you or snob you next time you bumped into him.

Why do men get mad or hate on women who have sex with them for pure sex ( mwenjoyo) and want nothing else? Why do the men feel disrepected and feel all too bad if you tell them that that is all you wanted after the fact:-) . Why can't women just "hit it" (Can I say that:-) and leave with no intention of hooking up again or even a phone call? Maybe the woman just wanted some good ol' times and had no intention of going back for more.

Why do men get shocked and get insulted if a woman say'it was not good? They ask how it was and then when you say the truth they get shocked by it. Eh ..why can't I say I wasn't "satisfied" and it sucked! Why then did you ask? I know it is a kind of assurance but sometimes it just sucks either because it was too small, too big ,didn't hit the right spot or the "touch was not there period!

Why is it when a woman sleeps with a guy the first time she is loose? .So what do we call the guy? . Why aren't we allowed to "test " the water before we dive in. Nobody wants to work so hard on something and then find out the end product sucks and does not deliver !

Sometimes I just wonder? mmhhh........................................

True Beauty

If this is not the real beauty in Africa, I dunno what is..Africa need to be authentic in their beauty contest not just a matter of copying the western countries sense of beauty.Maybe Kenyan beauty contests can borrow a leaf?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/05/africa_zimbabwe0s_rural_beauties/html/1.stm

Nat - Enough already!

I'm fed up! so, so fed up of seeing this dead end investigation of this teen on every channel across US. Enough already! Kwani she is the only person who has ever disappeared, what about the minorities in this country who disappear every day and get no air wave but when a rich Alabama girl disappears every channel in the face of the earth is on the story . I sympathize with the family lakini this news is intoxicating...

What happened to News, normal educational news ..I even miss KBC 's mambo leo, I could learn something from it! By the way is that "talk show" still on on KBC?

That is why my favorite channel is Public Television ,at least I get good humor from "are you being served? and the Vicar and not to forget the breathtaking places on"globe trekker"!
Okay I had to rant a lil:-)

To be in Denial

In our lives we have all been in stage where we are in denial about something , I know I have and still do. For instance, you may be gaining some few pounds on all those sensitive areas ie the bums, the thighs and the lower tummy(especially that) .Thanks to all the chocolate and cheesecake that you ate when you were in denial that "he still loves me, he will be back " moment only 4 months down the line you hear he got engaged and you are invited to the wedding:-).

Back to the analogy, one day you go flirting with yourself in the mirror and trying this outfit you have been dying to floss with on a certain occasion. Lo and behold:-) it cannot fit you the way it did a month ago! . This is the moment of denial . You are like hakuna, there is no way. "it must have shrank when I I took it for dry cleaning, haki they must have washed it with cold water" Yeah right, that is pure denial, you know you have not been hitting the gym they way you used to five times a week, you have reduced it to twice a week and when you do, you are on an ellipitical the lowest level , no incline and just reading away the latest people magazine looking all cute in that sexy gym outffit :-) . Yes I have done that, deny I'm not gaining weight , ati si I work out and I'm not losing nada na kumbe I have been eating all those chapos and munching away all the snacks my finger can get hold of day in ,day out and not burning it enuff calories!

Thing is, we all in our lives one way or another stay in denial about something when we are not ready to face the truth, when the truth pierces the core of your heart, when we fear we will be all alone to face it but you know ultimately you will have to face the facts however unpleasant.

Denial is good only temporarily but in the long run it can cause more harm than good when you realize how much time you waste being in denial instead of admitting the truth and move on. If your relationship with certain someone is not working and deep down you know it , face it head on and it might be the best thing for both of you. If your kajamaa is cheating and you have been excusing him day , in day out when confornted by family and freinds, face it and you are better of. If you failed that exam because you didn't study hard enough, don't go blaming the professor that he didn't cover the material well. Admit that you need to study harder next time or even you are not so good in that topic. It is hard to admit and to face facts about stuff that go haywire in our lives that maybe "we should have known" but the fast you admit and embrace the mistakes, the better for your peace of mind and soul and that , will make you a stronger and better person.

Immigrants behaving .......

I like talking about the social issue that affect us and I'm not shy about it either , so bear with me if I may sound too crude/blunt /kuonea watu.
This is all true for most of the immigrant peeps in U.S and I always like to talk about Kenyans and the other Africans because I care and I have better experience with them more than the other immigrants. One thing I'm going to say loud is "What is wrong with us?". Why do we come to stato and then we feel like we have climbed a certain social status even more than the wenyenji themselves .

For instance, I know that feeling of being able to acquire a car on credit since when most of us left Kenya, credit for a car was not that accessible and trying to ask your parents for their car was something you would have dared not. I also do understand the need for car in most states as means of transport to and from work. However, why would one feel the urge to buy a $40,000 car is beyond me ands then you have to take 3 jobs to afford that car. Why would one want to punish thyself:-) that much really just to take almost 10 years to pay for it when it has depreciated to almost zero worth ?

Also, while we were in Kenya, taking a bus /matatu to town was a normal thing, you know the KBS bus packed with humans hanging on the door. Now, come to stato and to be seen in a bus for some Africans /Kenyans is such a demeaning thing ,they would not be caught dead doing it. The bus may be going to the same destination near jobo but the Mwafrika petho can and will not let him get in that bus to save a dollar or two plus gas. The complain usually that the bus is so slow or somethin like that . Now this is where the African -Americans go "nigger plizz", while we were in Kenya you could wait in that bus on Jogoo or Mombasa road and God forbid there was an accident ahead and you will be forced to stay in that crowded Mat or bus for hours or if you feel energetic walk home but here in Stato a bus is on time , and the traffic flows very well in comparison to Kenya and now it is too slow ,give me a break !. So what makes us feel such pethos when we get here.?

Another example, every sunday newspaper has coupons for sales in grocery store for instance you know save 50cts on this or that or buy one get one free but Mwafrika instead of taking advantage of free money, we feel ashamed that people will look at you like you've got no money. Infact when you do so that shows how smart you are or what I would like to call " Financial Management etiquette".:-)

This is another one..ahhh, okay I can understand if you have germ phobia and you care about what you drain in your intestines but I know some folks who go in the name of 'I do not drink tap water" but they can go to a fountain a drink the same water:-) The same folks while they were in Kenya especially if you happened to be in some boarding school in the slope on Mt Kenya like I was, there was nothing like "bottled water" It is either you drink the tap water or hit the highway. Also, most families in Kenya never budgeted for bottled water back then when doing grocery shopping, so why would someone all over sudden when they get here they vehemently dismiss tap water like the tap water is the worst thing that has ever happened since leap year:-) .First of , I personally think the tap water here is more purified and treated than the Kenyan water, I could be wrong but ati would rather be broke but buy tap water( ok bottle water is cheap but that money can be channelled elsewhere).

I also have noticed in some states in U.S , Kenyans are very good at holding bashes, drink away all weekend but if you ask them to contribute even $5:00 to help a needy child in Kenya, someone must just say something so smart to you , you will wish that you never, ever asked. There is nothing wrong with having one or two to unwind after a long week but should we be so ingrained in it such that it becomes a club with almost a membership fee:-) There is a full year calender of where the hang will be. Numerous websites too with everyone holding a bottle of heinken glorifying alcohol and the hero is the jamaa or chikdee who appears every month or is it every bash . I'm not going into details but can't we find other activities that we enrich ourselves with . Imagine if we formed an investment club and contribute twice a month the same cash we use to hang and drink away all weekends or even the flights we take on thanksgiving /labor day weekend in the name of "tafutaring where the hang are" . In an year, we would have some money to invest in real estate somewhere or even afford a fab vacation for a week in vegas with no money worries.
Well that is just a synopsis of how we behave , more to come when I get syke.....

If I was down would you still have love me?

We all have standards of who we would like to meet for a summer rendevous or even a possible relationship. I'm going to speak of chile's in particular because I'm one of them (go figure) . We all want this guy who has it together , a great job, a good house , the latest car , the latest tech toys etc . When I'm strolling on the street of downtown DC especially during lunch break, I'm always checking out the guys .Usually the guys that catches my attention are the clean cut types, nice suits, well lets say white collar type. If one even acknowleges my presence and attempts to smile or say hi, trust me the adrenaline shoots up, I prolly have this big ol smile and followed by a feeling of "mmm I'm still a great catch" and start imagining what "we" could do together and what kind of a relationship we would have ,breakfast in bed, hair down, sunglasses riding his ferrari, candle light dinner on his yatch etc.

The same scenario, only this time around, it is from one of the "brown" UPS/FeDex guys or even one of those "can you spare a quarter type" and my reaction is completely the opposite. I suddenly frown and even though I will say hi back at him, I 'm already cursing, even to the point of going to the mirror later to see why he even dared to think we could have anything going ,if he were to even try. I even go ahead and see myself in that one bedroom apartment with him , children crying all over the place , strugglin to make ends meet etc. When I think about it though, there are many stories of how most of us women we aim so high for the potential guy,some get "lucky" and get that one when he is up and making it but if he were to lose that job suddenly and he is reduced to wearing the UPS/Fedex uniform or even begging for that quarter, would you stay or suddenly the mad love somehow vanishes?

I know of so many women who will love a guy for what he is careerwise, what he drives etc. Question is? if you like all those things he has ,why don't you get them yourself , it is actually more satifying when you call it yours you know....so anyways please if you are with someone for what they make, drive etc ," la vita è piena scossa" Life can shock you when that person's life changes dramatically and loses it all . So be with someone if you really and trully love the person for better or worse not only when they are fun and can provide and when all is gone , your love turns sour, that is inhuman period!

Anyway I'm not saying that you should not have standards, certainly, you deserve the best but choose wisely!

Emotional Cheating-Is it Cheating?

This is the hottest topic of relationship of late. Does emotional cheating exist? When your spouse goes to work , does he have a co-worker whom he bares it all emotionally?Someone they sit with at lunch hour and talk about you and why you are giving your spouse grief even when he has given you all:-). Does your better half have a friend of the opposite sex who they open up to more that he /she would ever open up to you? Do you have a friend who you ran to when you think your mate is not understanding you ? Most people even when they are unwilling to admit there is that someone in your life that you feel so comfortable with that you can tell anything and you feel they understand you all too well and it is usually of the opposit sex. You harbor secret adminration of that person and you wish that your other half would be like him/her. When you have a disagreement with your significant other, that is the person you sneak out and call 911 to air your problem seeking comfort.

Well according to a survery that is emotional cheating and that opens doors to even the danger of sexual encounters. Now question is , how many people believe that is true? that one can cheat emotionally? Like Brad Pitt said in an interview, we were not meant to be with one person for the rest of our lives. Some people raised an eyebrow on that comment but I tend to concur.Why? Because think, even though you are madly in love with someone and you believe they have all the qualities you have been looking for ,there is a percentage of him/her that you do not like and that you see in someone else.

No one can fulfil our needs 100% ,I refuse to believe that. I have a very close friend who I tell anything and everything under the sun( even about that time of the month misery) and if and when I meet my significant other, he will never replace my friend no matter what.This is something he will have to live with knowing that I have such a friend who happen to be a guy who I talk to .I know most guys hate it when their true loves have guy friends and they will question you about it, will hate the friend for absolutely no reason but I think we all cannot have all our needs fulfilled by one person and the more we embrace the better our relationship would be. By the way I'm not advocating infidelity but allow someone to have a friend out there (not for dilly dallying with under the sheets) who they can confide with or talk to because the way I see it, if they have never ended up together romantically ,chances are they prolly will never ever !!

However, there is a difference between someone who has been your friend long before your significant other came along and one who is acquired after the fact. The latter may mean that you both need to work on your relationship, better communication or a certain fire died along the way and needs to be re-ignited. Anyway whether you choose to believe it or not , we all have someone out there we emotionally cheat with, if at all that is cheating...

Thank God summer is over!

I'm not sure whether because it was damn hot this summer or because I thought I was going nuts but something about this summer that I want it to end in a hurry( Ok for the most part I do know why I dread this summer:-(.
Despite that , I'm not sure why I'm never a fan of summer like most people do in the States but the hype that sorrounds it just makes it for the most part boring! The kids being out of school, the adults are hype, the bachelors up and about trying to hook with someone for the summer fling grrhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I just think summer is so overrated. I can't stand the question in the office of where are you going for vacation this summer? what did you do this weekend, the weather was great? Nobody seem to ask when it comes to Winter, maybe I like vacationing in winter, go to Aspen and skii away all weekend and drink hot cocoa in front of a fire place (ok that is not really true until the day I meet my millionaire husband or I become a millionaire myself). Anyway I'm one person who hates doing stuff when everyone is doing them .This is weird I just don't enjoy taking vacations when everyone is , going to the park when all my neighbors are there and especially swimming in the apartment complex swimming pool when all those brats are in the pool. Nothing against the kids in the pool but all that hype just too much.
Well summer is almost over and good riddance, fall cannot come fast enuff!!!

I'm so back!

Okay, I'm back It was trying:-) to be away for long and missing all the fun but I'm refreshed body, mind and soul. Watch the space for many a topics to talk about.
Akiey: I bloggin again..and you know what that means...you are not taking any break now ..I saw your " eyes ..smthing' open or shut .....:-) ..