Decision on my future,when does that end really?.Is there a time in this lifetime that a day will be coupled with a margarita or a cosmo, a lover or a hubby, bubbly little ones and no decisions to make but enjoy life and have someone make them for me
I remember writing this a while back. I wrote this here in January '06 and lo and behold!, the same animal has come to bite me. To go back to Kenya or not to go is the query? To accept an opportunity that could change my life and forgo some of the luxuries I enjoy here. To get closer to a future that could be with may be someone and be happy .
But I'M SCARED!
See, USA is not a cuppa of ketepa for me, I like the opportunities that are available to me financially and careerwise but then to what expense(my family, possible stable relationship, friends etc)?. Am I willing to give all that I think could right here and as a go getter as I'm , run back home and take the risk?.
Kenya is still my country, opportunities are endless in Kenya, Yes ! I believe so, why you ask? Because , I believe you create your own opportunities and I 'm willing to create them but the again, do I have the balls to do it? What if I fail, I will have no husband or lover to bury myself to in grief to or do I :-) I certainly cannot bury my head in shame with my failure to my dear mummy. She would be so worried ! I love her and I have always maintained my strength, surely I cannot show her my weakness. I would not want her to worry , you know how mothers worry even whenone has a flu:-)
Perhaps, if Kenya does not work out , I can go to Europe but would I fit in that society ? and to whom would I be running there to ,well perhaps someone would accomodate me ( I think so) but again would they stand to watch me adjust slowly, hate and then love the European culture, understand and misunderstand the European way at the same time. Miss Kenya all over again ?. Starting a new life in another part of the world at my age. How would I start making new friends all over again ? Would I even?
Then again, I fight with my thoughts and decide to stay where I'm , forgo the opportunity availed to me in Kenya, make my millions in USA, build a small empire but then again at 40 , I would be a old maid with a cat called " sammy" and an apartment full of classical music and those learn Italian by yourself tapes with some travel to the best destination in the world brochures.
But then again, travel with who? I would be alone, lonely, afraid to go to Kenya then and spend my retirement there. Who would take care of me? I have been gone too long I barely recognize anything Kenyan and at an old age, talk of culture shock?.
Anyway there goes my mind fighting with a decision that need to be made but I feel weak, I do not want to make this decision , I need someone to hold my hand tight and tell me they will be there with me whichever decision I plan to make and I do really need that one!
Friday, May 25, 2007
I'm back to blogging !
Well, it has been almost an year since I left the blogsphere for perhaps lack of ideas, boredom, hectic schedule and what have you. After much contemplation and many things that I felt the need to air my opinion , I have decided to be back. Well I have to dedicate to this to a friend who no matter how crazy, wishy washy, undecided , mean and everything else that I have been has always understood me. It is because of this person that I have decided that I should share my thoughts however incoherent with the world.
To you my friend, for always been supportive of my thoughts, the person who I never imagined would be part of me even in the crazy situation on how we became friends and sometimes we can be elusive to each other but to you my dear, thanks for always letting me know I'm not all that crazy even when I have QUIT you so many times .
The most humbling thing that person told me today when I went crazy on them was "I'm not interested in your process of elimination, I still consider you as a friend" -That brought tears in my eyes coz I know now you are a real friend and I love you for that!
With that, may our friendship last for a very long time, may we continue to support each other through thick and thin ! Chin chin to you my darlin friend and YES I'M BLOGGING AGAIN! I got it bad when it comes to you that I came back to blogging world partly coz of you , for letting me know my thoughts are worth and then some! I love you for always!
To you my friend, for always been supportive of my thoughts, the person who I never imagined would be part of me even in the crazy situation on how we became friends and sometimes we can be elusive to each other but to you my dear, thanks for always letting me know I'm not all that crazy even when I have QUIT you so many times .
The most humbling thing that person told me today when I went crazy on them was "I'm not interested in your process of elimination, I still consider you as a friend" -That brought tears in my eyes coz I know now you are a real friend and I love you for that!
With that, may our friendship last for a very long time, may we continue to support each other through thick and thin ! Chin chin to you my darlin friend and YES I'M BLOGGING AGAIN! I got it bad when it comes to you that I came back to blogging world partly coz of you , for letting me know my thoughts are worth and then some! I love you for always!
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
NEW HOME
TO......................................................................................................
http://cirubacknbusiness.wordpress.com/
Monday, February 13, 2006
Thursday, February 09, 2006
African Channel -FINALLY
Finally!!!!! AWESOME!!
I can barely wait for this channel on the East Coast
"The Africa Channel is a showcase for the African continent's most outstanding English language television series, specials, documentaries feature films, music, event specials, biographies, soap operas, current business analysis, cultural and historical programs?..shows that reflect the people of Africa, their incredible stories, their daily lives, their music and art, their successes, celebrations and challenges.
Our mission? To open up a daily window into modern African life and, in the process, help demystify Africa for American viewers.
For the first time on U.S. television, American audiences can connect with an aspect of Africa that has eluded them until now - urban Africa, coming to life on a daily basis and presented in a way that American TV viewers have come to appreciate and understand. The Africa Channel will transport you into a world filled with rich cultures, heart-stopping adventures, emotional human dramas and award-winning entertainment programming. Then there is the music, with all of the richness, texture and tradition of the countless musical cultures found on the African Continent. Following in the footsteps of such music legends as Miriam Makeba, and Salief Keita is a whole new generation of artists poised for similar commercial success. The Africa Channel will introduce these new artists through music videos, live performances and the Africa Channel's exclusive roster of VJ's.
From News, Information and International Affairs, to Travel, Lifestyle and Leisure; From Soaps to Documentaries to Music, there's something for everyone on The Africa Channel!
Experience Africa as you've never seen it before. Africa! Alive! Right in your living room, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
http://www.theafricachannel.com
Just for Today
JUST FOR TODAY
JUST FOR TODAY I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem(s) at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that," Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust myself to what is, and not try toadjust everything to my own desires. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise; I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I may not follow itexactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what if beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
JUST FOR TODAY I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem(s) at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that," Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust myself to what is, and not try toadjust everything to my own desires. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
JUST FOR TODAY I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to do - just for exercise; I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a program. I may not follow itexactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
JUST FOR TODAY I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
JUST FOR TODAY I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what if beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
MY LEO 2006 YEARLY OVERVIEW :-)
HA!HA!HA! If only they were right ....those stars!!!!
Year 2006 OverviewProvided by Astrology.com
LEO
You're out for a real, honest-to-goodness emotional connection this year. That's first and foremost on your priority list. Fortunately, when it comes to prospective partners, you know what you like and, more importantly, what you don't like -- and during 2006, your perceptive abilities will be especially keen. If you're already attached, your emotions for your partner will deepen considerably as the year progresses, and from Halloween through the start of the New Year, you'll be amazed at how close you two become. There may even be cohabitation or marriage on the agenda as the year draws to a close.
If you're without a soul mate as 2006 begins, you'll be especially determined to find one this year, and you won't stop until you do. The actual 'interview' process will be quite streamlined compared to past attempts, thanks to your newfound (and almost psychic) ability to cut to the emotional chase, especially during January and February. When it comes to dating, you'll be able to tell whether you have a future with the person you're sitting across from within five minutes of the moment you say hello, smile your charming smile and unfold your napkin. And don't discount the possibility of 're-interviewing' someone you've already been involved with, by the way -- someone who seems quite different now. (And if it doesn't work out in January, they may ask to try it again in July.) If it's someone new you decide upon, the real fun will begin when you discover that they felt the same immediate connection you did. (You'll know when you meet this person -- they're the one who puts that grin on your face, right from the get-go, whenever they're in the vicinity.)
When it comes to career matters, you'll be working hard -- really hard -- but you'll definitely see some serious rewards. The higher-ups in charge of your paycheck and your professional future will toss some 'atta boy/atta girl' sentiments your way during mid-March and late September, followed by the raise, promotion or bonus you've been aiming for. And don't be surprised if you end the year as a highly regarded authority figure yourself
2006 YEARLY LOVE OVERVIEW
Year 2006 Romance.....Provided by Astrology.com
Leo
When you plant a tree, it takes several years before it begins to bear fruit. Harvest season after harvest season passes with no sign of apples. If you've been waiting year after year for the kind of romantic connection you only read about in books, your patience is about to pay off. In other words, when apples finally appear on those boughs, there will be enough for pie -- and applesauce too.
When it comes to romantic partners, you've had plenty of time to figure out what you want. In 2006, your ability to discriminate between a bad apple and a good one -- and to tell a delicious varietal from the mealy types you grew up with -- will be especially keen. If you've already settled on someone you'd like to stay with for a long time, this will be the year you explore the permanent motivations and lasting basis for your passion. Parallels between you and your partner will be thrown into sharp relief, and the complementary differences between you two will become visible as well. You might think that finding the rational basis for a mystical connection will kill the romance, but in fact, the opposite will be true. Your emotional connection will deepen as the intellectual and instinctual aspects of your relationship begin to work in tandem.
If you haven't yet found a partner at the beginning of 2006, you're in for a very lucky year. However, you can't just expect prospective soul mates to come to you. A determined dating schedule in the winter will yield spectacular results, thanks to your ability to instantly identify the kind of partner who will suit you. It's also possible that someone you've been involved with in the past may ask to rekindle a connection that had fizzled out. Give it a try -- with your practically supernatural discernment, you'll be able to tell quickly whether the person deserves another chance. Once you find someone special, you'll be thrilled to find out that they felt the same visceral connection you did in the first moments of your meeting.( YEAH RIGHT!!!)
Year 2006 OverviewProvided by Astrology.com
LEO
You're out for a real, honest-to-goodness emotional connection this year. That's first and foremost on your priority list. Fortunately, when it comes to prospective partners, you know what you like and, more importantly, what you don't like -- and during 2006, your perceptive abilities will be especially keen. If you're already attached, your emotions for your partner will deepen considerably as the year progresses, and from Halloween through the start of the New Year, you'll be amazed at how close you two become. There may even be cohabitation or marriage on the agenda as the year draws to a close.
If you're without a soul mate as 2006 begins, you'll be especially determined to find one this year, and you won't stop until you do. The actual 'interview' process will be quite streamlined compared to past attempts, thanks to your newfound (and almost psychic) ability to cut to the emotional chase, especially during January and February. When it comes to dating, you'll be able to tell whether you have a future with the person you're sitting across from within five minutes of the moment you say hello, smile your charming smile and unfold your napkin. And don't discount the possibility of 're-interviewing' someone you've already been involved with, by the way -- someone who seems quite different now. (And if it doesn't work out in January, they may ask to try it again in July.) If it's someone new you decide upon, the real fun will begin when you discover that they felt the same immediate connection you did. (You'll know when you meet this person -- they're the one who puts that grin on your face, right from the get-go, whenever they're in the vicinity.)
When it comes to career matters, you'll be working hard -- really hard -- but you'll definitely see some serious rewards. The higher-ups in charge of your paycheck and your professional future will toss some 'atta boy/atta girl' sentiments your way during mid-March and late September, followed by the raise, promotion or bonus you've been aiming for. And don't be surprised if you end the year as a highly regarded authority figure yourself
2006 YEARLY LOVE OVERVIEW
Year 2006 Romance.....Provided by Astrology.com
Leo
When you plant a tree, it takes several years before it begins to bear fruit. Harvest season after harvest season passes with no sign of apples. If you've been waiting year after year for the kind of romantic connection you only read about in books, your patience is about to pay off. In other words, when apples finally appear on those boughs, there will be enough for pie -- and applesauce too.
When it comes to romantic partners, you've had plenty of time to figure out what you want. In 2006, your ability to discriminate between a bad apple and a good one -- and to tell a delicious varietal from the mealy types you grew up with -- will be especially keen. If you've already settled on someone you'd like to stay with for a long time, this will be the year you explore the permanent motivations and lasting basis for your passion. Parallels between you and your partner will be thrown into sharp relief, and the complementary differences between you two will become visible as well. You might think that finding the rational basis for a mystical connection will kill the romance, but in fact, the opposite will be true. Your emotional connection will deepen as the intellectual and instinctual aspects of your relationship begin to work in tandem.
If you haven't yet found a partner at the beginning of 2006, you're in for a very lucky year. However, you can't just expect prospective soul mates to come to you. A determined dating schedule in the winter will yield spectacular results, thanks to your ability to instantly identify the kind of partner who will suit you. It's also possible that someone you've been involved with in the past may ask to rekindle a connection that had fizzled out. Give it a try -- with your practically supernatural discernment, you'll be able to tell quickly whether the person deserves another chance. Once you find someone special, you'll be thrilled to find out that they felt the same visceral connection you did in the first moments of your meeting.( YEAH RIGHT!!!)
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Kenyan in Winter Olympic but do we say?
http://http://www.theage.com.au/news/sport/kenyas-oneman-team-a-flagbearer-for-africans/2006/02/07/1139074229975.html
Kenya's one-man team a flag-bearer for Africans
By Aileen Kimutai, Nairobi February 8, 2006
THE snows of the Italian alps are a far cry from Philip Boit's dusty equatorial hometown in central Kenya, but the lone member of the east African nation's Winter Olympics team is undaunted.
Eight years after finishing dead last in his 10-kilometre cross-country skiiing event at the Nagano Games and four years after improving to 66th out of 77 racers in Salt Lake City, Boit is out for glory this year in Turin.
But glory for the 33-year-old former soldier who made history as Kenya's first winter Olympian in the 1998 Games in Japan is not a gold or silver or even a bronze medal. It is respect.
"I want to make sure I beat other African skiers in Turin," he said after he and a member of the Kenyan Olympic Federation became the first team to check in this week. "I also want to improve on my time."
Kenya is well-known for producing world-class long-distance runners but, like most African nations, has seen little success in winter sports that are largely foreign on a continent where snow and cold temperatures are rare.
Boit grew up in Eldoret, a town regarded as the breadbasket of Kenyan athletes, including his cousin, Mike Boit, who was a dominant figure in the world in the 800 metres in the 1970s.
Unable to match his cousin's skills, Boit joined an elite Kenyan army unit believing his sporting days were over. But former Kenyan national athletics coach Mike Kosgei saw opportunities when he went to coach in Finland in 1995 and enlisted Boit and countryman Henry Bitok in a bid to expand the country's sporting prowess.
Time to say Goodbye
Tell me when I can open my eyes
I don't want to watch you walk out that door
There's no easy way to get through goodbye
I'd probably try and talk you into staying once more
Or I'd lie and say it's all for the best
Wish you luck and say I have no regrets
But I'm not up to being strong
So I'll wait until you're gone
Is it over yet, is it over yet?
A taxi's waiting in the driveway for you
You call my name, I guess your ready to leave
I'd like to help you with a suitcase or two
But I'm afraid I'm gonna wind up down on my knees
I should tell you that I want you to go
I really need to spend some time on my own
Smile and say goodbye
So you don't see me dying inside
Is it over yet, is it over yet?
I should lie and say it's all for the best
Wish you luck and say I have no regrets
But I'm not up to being strong
So I'll wait until your gone
Is it over yet, is it over yet?
